tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7634707522237852672024-03-04T20:05:51.404-08:00Rantings, Ravings and ReflectionsKatiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-83173742815466720882017-05-18T08:04:00.003-07:002017-05-18T08:04:31.298-07:00A Letter to My Graduating Son and His Damn Wings...My Boy, My Joy,<br />
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13 years ago I watched you walk into Kindergarten without a glance back. My heart broke into a million pieces. The wings I had so carefully crafted to your back during those early years, had worked...too well. I wanted, at that moment, to snatch those wings from your back and throw them away. This morning I feel the exact same way and it hit me that I am so proud of who you are. Who we have helped you to become. I thought about those damn wings and each of the feathers we placed on them in preparation for this day and as much as I hate to admit, I am proud of every stinking feather. <br />
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I crafted these damn things. I made sure to add extra feathers for protection. I prayed over every single one. I asked God to protect you, guide you and lead you as you soar. Of all things that I prayed to give you, I really wanted you to receive faith and hope. I wanted you to know how God has walked with you throughout your life. But, I also tried to sneak in some other feathers that I am pretty proud of. I hope you recognize the gifts of creativity, kindness, compassion, integrity and leadership that I tried so hard to pour over you. My wish is that, even though I don't like these wings today, my part of these wings help give you flight throughout your life.<br />
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Your dad gave you some beautiful feathers along the way. Passion for everything you attempt to do. Courage to follow your dreams and to never let obstacles stand in your way. I will concede that he was the one who gave you the almighty gift of music. Music that has become the most important passion in your life. He has also taught you joy. Living life with laughter and lots of love. He showed you what matters most in life. Love is truly ALL that you need. Love for your family, your friends and all who you will come in contact with. He has truly given you guidance which will become the wind beneath your wings.<br />
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Your siblings have given you so much as well. I hope you will recognize their gifts to you. Emma- your dodo. That girl loves you and idolizes you. I know you see this and are grateful for this. She has helped to give you purpose. You know that the life you lead will be an example to her. Kiley has given you confidence and knowledge. Confidence in speaking up for yourself and knowledge that the things you say and do have great affect on others. This can be a blessing and a curse. Keegan has given you a great amount of patience and understanding. Through his struggles, you have learned to be there... no matter what. Family never gives up. Family is a great healer. Dylan, technically, gave you your first brother. This bond has shown you what pride is. And, then there was Lucy. Lucy gave you feathers of responsibility. She helped show you that you have a responsibility to others to bring them closer to God through your actions. These are the things they have given you to help you on your journey. Know they will be watching you and your flight will give them valuable insight into what becoming a man looks like. <br />
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You have a beautiful family. Family that has celebrated you for the last 18 years. They have walked with you and cheered you on, in big and little ways. Great Grandparents who have given wisdom and insight into your heritage. Even as they look down on you from heaven, they are still so proud of you. I can still see each of them as they held you for the first time.. Their first great grandson. You could do no wrong in their eyes. You are their legacy. <br />
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Your Grandparents have given you feathers too. They have taught you the meaning of family, faith and hardwork. In order to BE family you must BE family. Spending time with people important to you is the greatest gift you can give. The countless trips to visit you as you celebrated a milestone showed you the commitment it takes to create a family bond. Working for your grandparents and seeing all of the time and effort they put into making a future to benefit you. This sense of purpose and commitment to family will truly prepare you as you become an adult and decide how to prioritize things in your life.<br />
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So many Aunts and Uncles. You were their first nephew. This was a gift you will never fully understand. They held you when you were born, rocked you to sleep, taught you your first tricks and celebrated every single milestone as if you were their own child. And then they filled your life with MANY, MANY cousins. All of whom stand by and watch you take flight. Your every move will be watched by them. You will lead them towards success. This is a great responsibility and based on the feathers in your wings, you got this. <br />
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How lucky in life you have been to have been given such an awesome family! We know all too well what happens when your wings are not built with love. Never forget you have been blessed with a life FULL of love. Sometimes that love must have seemed suffocating. I hope you see how that love has been transforming. You have custom made wings. Wings crafted by not just your parents. I sit here this morning after watching you leave for the last day of school and I am filled with gratitude to everyone in our extended family. People that did not HAVE to be there. People that chose too. <br />
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Our Church family. People who have really become a part of the fabric of our lives. They have given us such great examples of how to live a good life. I am seeing in my minds eye the pews filled with faces who have silently watched you grow into the man you are. Some have given you the gifts of music and praise {shout out Leny and choir} some have given you the gift of living your faith out loud {Paul and Ann, SPC CCD/CYO, Mama Nita and Deacon James} and of course, our Father Norman who has shown you that you can live your faith with great JOY!<br />
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All of the teachers, administrators and counselors who have touched your life. People who were like second moms and dads to you. They taught you everything you needed to know. Not just facts and figures. They taught you how to be a really GOOD person. There are some teachers that you will never forget. These teachers have given you much more than what the state curriculum forces them to do. Only you will know what feathers they have added. But, it is my greatest hope that you have shared your gratitude for how they have helped to raise you.<br />
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Shawn, you have found some amazing friends. These friends have amazing families who have become our friends. I truly could not have picked better people for you to fly with. I look at what they have given and am so thankful that they have helped us to fill in those feathers. Happiness, confidence, goofiness, focus, drive, determination... just to name a few. Your friends can not be mentioned without the gigantic feathers of Johnny Conqueroo and all the life lessons you have learned from being in this band. Some of these lessons gave you humility but most of them have shown you that hardwork pays off and if you are creative, you will never know a day of boredom.<br />
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You know the last few weeks I have been listening to horribly sad and tragic goodbye songs {Spotify playlist attached for my readers to listen to and cry with} You laugh at me for this and call me melodramatic. But, this IS a goodbye. <br />
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This is the day the world recognizes that you are ready to fly from our nest. We know that, much like Kindergarten, you will not look back and you will fly higher than we could have ever imagined. I know you will be back to visit, probably eat some meals and ask me to do your laundry. I know we have the whole summer to spend together. And, we will. We will soak up every last moment before everything truly changes. <br />
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But, today we celebrate you and those damn wings that we created. Wings that are ready for flight. They are full of the love of people who have come and gone in your life. Each person has made you who you were meant to be and given you some feathers to help you along the way. As you walk across the stage and accept this diploma, know that you are who you are because of who they were to you. You are ready to fly!<br />
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P.S. I can still curse those damn wings today... and I will. But just for a little bit. Mostly, I will be proud. So unbelievably proud. I will be watching you fly and as tears flow down my face, I will forever be cheering you on.<br />
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To watch our "Ode to Shawnie" Graduation video...<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOrhnmjCfKE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOrhnmjCfKE</a><br />
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To listen to my sappy, sad songs that helped prepare me for this day...<br />
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<a href="https://open.spotify.com/user/1259582030/playlist/6xckb7D2qMpHMrgb7rAHUc">https://open.spotify.com/user/1259582030/playlist/6xckb7D2qMpHMrgb7rAHUc</a><br />
<br />Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-68869068041611568052017-01-23T11:31:00.001-08:002017-01-23T11:32:17.147-08:00The Truth About the March For Women*Buckle up buttercups, this one is not for the faint of heart. The following rant is rated PG-13. Please proceed with caution.<br />
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This one is definitely going to strike some nerves and probably piss some people off, but I just have to. Mostly for my daughters. My daughters who deserve better than what was shown over this weekend. My daughters who will be raised to be super strong feminist just like me. The daughters I pray will never walk in a parade wearing a vagina hat, screaming about the unfairness of their very privileged lives. Women who will know what it truly means to be a feminist.<br />
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Here's a couple facts about the March for Women that really got me in all the feels...<br />
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1. This march was mostly funded by George Soros. George Soros is one of the richest men in our country. He has helped create MoveOn.org and believes in population control... just like China. He is one of the biggest contributors to Hilary Clinton's Campaign. He is the third largest contributor of Planned Parenthood, donating close to 20 million dollars. One of his most recent donations to Planned Parenthood was 1.5 million dollars to create damage control after the Planned Parenthood videos were leaked accusing the organization of the following: selling baby body parts to the highest bidder and helping cover up the sex trafficking of minors. 50 of Soros' business partners fully funded this march. They donated a total of over 90 million dollars to the march. But, this march had nothing to do with abortion- insert heavy sarcasm.<br />
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2. Pro Life groups were not allowed to participate. Many pro life organizations petitioned to be a part of the march and were denied. The reason they were given? If you are ProLife you are not Pro Women {AMP}. I disagree wholeheartedly. Abortion hurts the woman undergoing the procedure and stops a beating heart of a human being. You can only assume half of which are women. What would these women become if they had a chance at life? Perhaps the first female president? The scientist who could discover the cure for cancer? Or maybe, just a simple, kind woman changing the lives of those she meets. Not to mention, that so many women undergo abortions because they will not be supported by the father. The father that society lets off the hook. Society that tells men to have zero self control and use women for the sexual objects that they are. To ProLife women, this is unacceptable. How is this not feminism at its core? How were these feminists not allowed to be a voice at this March for ALL women... except the one we disagree with.<br />
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3. Half a million women attended. 500,000. That is a crap ton of women. I will readily admit and even silently cheer, that so many women were privileged enough to stop what they were doing and march in the streets. This march FILLED our media networks with non stop coverage. I never saw so many badly drawn penis posters or really grotesque vagina hats in my life. It was a pink parade of women all marching in unity, never before seen in our country. Oh wait, it is seen. Every year around this time. When 650,000 people attend {Wikipedia} the March for Life. The march that demands that babies be given the right to life. You probably have no idea this many people attend this march annually. That is because it is not on news networks. You know, news networks with men as the CEO's who control content and messaging? Isn't that ironic? If you don't believe me and think I am just a crazy prolifer... check out the coverage this weekend. This weekend is supposed to be the largest Right to Life march in history. Let's see how much time the media gives to this.<br />
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4. Lastly and most importantly, there was NO POINT. Watching the coverage you couldn't discern if the march was about wages, planned parenthood, legal abortion, healthcare, homosexuality or "pussies". It was a lot of privileged women complaining about a lot of things. There was no call to action for any of these items. Meanwhile, around the world, real hardship occurs for women. Female mutilation, no access to clean drinking water, poverty that makes ours seem hilarious in comparison, hunger of women who are raising children destined to die, women living in war torn cities holding their dead babies while our country stands by with fancy vagina signs. Do you know how gross this lack of humanity is? In this country we have the right to march against a man that uses offensive language years before he even ran for government... meanwhile in the real world, a woman is being stoned to death for having sex outside of marriage. How out of touch are the feminists in this country? George Soros and his minions could have spent 25% of the money for the march on providing clean drinking water for numerous villages. 20 million dollars would go a LONG way. Could you imagine what 90 million dollars could have done for the global community of women we were supposedly using our voices for? You literally accomplished nothing. NOTHING. You were 500k women throwing the biggest temper tantrum ever recorded in the world. <br />
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Now, let's talk about what the march was really about. What that 90 million dollars was really about. It was to protest our Pussy Grabbing President. First, whether you voted for him or not, he is our president. He has appeared on The Howard Stern show more than 24 times. With a listening audience of 20 million. He has created reality shows, performed on Monday night RAW, made inappropriate comments about his daughter, got caught talking about grabbing a women's pussy and has been accused of sexual assault. And yet, he is still our president. The only question we should all be asking and marching about is ... how did this happen? How can such a gross man become the leader of the free world. My answer... take a good long look in the mirror.<br />
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Here are some facts to think about...<br />
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1. The United States is the top producer of pornographic DVD's and web material. Every 39 minutes a new porn film is created in the United States.<br />
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2. Most men watch or have watched porn. The University of Montreal tried conducting a study on porn and when trying to make a control group of men who have not watched porn they could not find one. 20% of American men say they have watched pornography while at work<br />
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3. 88.2% of top rated porn scenes show aggressive acts and 70% of these are perpetrated by men.<br />
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4. A Google trends analysis found that searches for "teen porn" has tripled since 2013. Let that sink in. Underage children performing sex acts for adults pleasure.<br />
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5. Amy Schumer was the first person on cable to champion the word pussy being used. It is now a commonly accepted way to describe the female anatomy.<br />
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6. 125 million copies of "50 Shades of Grey" has been sold worldwide. This book focuses on the relationship between Christian and Ana. A relationship about male dominance in and out of the bedroom. He has her sign a contract giving him permission to do whatever he wants to her while he pacifies her with money, travel and extravagance. It was on the bestseller list for 16 weeks. And the movie version grossed over $571 million in box office. <br />
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What do these facts have to do with our president? We created this monster. The cream always rises to the top. We have elected a man who epitomizes these things that are so important to our country. And, while priveleged, mostly white, women were protesting this orange disaster of a president, women around the country were being degraded and sold to the highest bidder. And, we are cool with it. We just don't want our president to reflect our sexual skeletons in the closet. Am I outraged that a man like Trump could win the presidency? Yes. Am I surprised or shocked? No. <br />
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His competition was a woman that has been investigated for felonies numerous times in her life. She is married to the most misogynistic man to ever hold the office of president. She herself "slut" shamed all of his victims and helped to make them obsolete. She virtually used her power to silence rape victims. And yet, feminists everywhere hold her on a pedestal as an activist. This was Trump's only competition. Why didn't we march against that hypocrisy?<br />
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We have a lot to reflect on as women. We all know that deep down, women control the world. In so many seen and unseen ways. If we believe this to be true- and I do- how did we let this happen? Things have to change. We need to demand that our little girls are not subjected to this world we created. We need to stop consuming media that sells us misogyny and male dominance. We need to demand that the porn industry take accountability in the rape culture it creates. We need to raise little boys that will become great men who will hold women on pedestals. Most importantly, we need to actively respond to women who are suffering around the world... through donations, awareness and humanitarian relief.<br />
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The most important way we can do this is by demanding first, that our country respects life. Respects, values and takes care of ALL lives. From womb to tomb. Yes, this includes illegal immigrants, homeless drug addicts, the prostitute AND the pimp. But, most importantly, the very least of us. If we started respecting life from the very MOMENT of conception to the very MOMENT of death, could you imagine the revolution that would occur in this nation? As women... as feminists... we hold the power to bring compassion and mercy to every one of God's creatures. If we lead the revolution, the men will follow. It begins here. It begins with us and it should begin right now.<br />
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If you agree, share my message. Help start the revolution by calling out this march for what it was, a nice attempt that failed at action. If you disagree, respectfully give me your thoughts. And know, that no matter your views, I respect you. Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-40676546038914386382016-11-07T19:15:00.002-08:002016-11-07T19:15:57.906-08:00To My Children on the Eve of the Election....Shawnie, Emma, Kiley, Keegan, Dylan and Lucy...<br />
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My Beautiful Children,<br />
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I am writing this letter to you on the Eve of the 2016 Presidential Election. This night will surely be a defining night for our country. One that will be written of in the history books. <br />
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There has never been a more divisive presidential race in our history. Brothers have turned against brothers, neighbors against neighbors. The hateful language of both parties has been like a punch in the gut to all of us. This election has been draining on the hearts and minds of every citizen. The worst part of this election is that in the end, no one wins. We will either get a President who is an arrogant, misogynistic fool or we will end up with a President who, most everyone agrees, is a criminal. A criminal that will never be held accountable by a country run by thieves and liars. Our representatives and senators stand silent and in solidarity with their party, rarely crossing the party line, to right wrongs or help bring about positive change. This election will literally change the world as we know it. And I feel strongly it will not be for the better.<br />
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You are my most precious treasures and I feel that tomorrow we will officially leave you with a world that has sold you many lies. They have wrapped those lies in pretty little political packages. They have given them to us as the truth. They have done such a good job selling them to us. They have made us fear that we must choose one form of evil over another. They have been so evil- in words and deeds- that they have forced us to look deep inside and examine what is important to us at the end of the day. This has been challenging for so many of us. Especially those wishing to do the right thing and vote for the best candidate.<br />
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So tonight I want to remind you of what is true and right in the world. I want to remind you, so that when you are faced with the heavy burden of voting for fools and criminals, you will remember what matters. Mostly, I want to share this, because I need you to know how much I thought about my vote and discerned what I needed to do. This list of 3 truths helped me decide who to cast my ballot for.<br />
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1. Protect the Least of Us... Always<br />
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It is your duty as a child of God to defend all life. Even when your leaders scream from their campaign stages that "Black Lives Matter!" "Blue Lives Matter!" Hear me when I say to you this truth, <b>ALL LIVES MATTER</b>. <br />
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From the moment of conception to the moment of death, you are called to protect all of God's children, especially the most vulnerable. Those without voices, who have no advocates to fight for them. These are the least of our brothers and sisters. Remember this does not only mean protecting babies in the womb. This means protecting our elderly who sit alone in nursing homes without visitors or advocates. Vulnerable children in abusive environments. Children in foster care who go through their childhood without the safety and security of having a family. Homeless men, women and children. Prisoners convicted of the most awful crimes. Refugees, even from countries that harbor terrorists. This is the real challenge and call of our faith. <br />
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Remember that all of these humans are God's creation and the ones in our society that have no voice. These are the least of us. These are the ones the politicians exploit to further their own agendas. . They build their careers on the backs of these people. Hold them accountable. Be educated on the social stances of your leaders. Make sure that they will help others. This means that they "give people poles not fishes". Nothing is for free in this world, you need to provide opportunities, not handouts, for all people to live a long, healthy life. Use your votes to make sure they protect ALL of God's children. From womb to tomb. This is your duty.<br />
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2. The Greatest of These is Love<br />
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Remember, dear children, that God had many commandments but the most important one is Love One Another, As I Have Loved You. We are all sinners in the eyes of God. There is no sin greater than the ones we have marking our own souls. There will be many people in your life that will stand in judgment of others. Know that the only judgment that is right and true comes from our Father in heaven. He knows who we are... the good, the bad and the ugly. And, he loves us anyways. He tells us that this is the way we must love each other. No matter what.<br />
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Don't ever forget love is an action not a word. To love, you must put forth effort. Loving someone is easy when your path is smooth and clear. The real challenge is loving someone even when they have hurt you deeply. Or loving someone who is at their most unlovable. It is not easy to hug a homeless person or spend time with the elderly. It is definitely not easy opening up your home to those who need shelter or to take the time to feed the hungry. How about visiting a felon? Taking care of the sick? Burying the dead? That truly challenges you to think about what love looks like. <br />
<br />
Research your candidates and see how and if they have lived a life of love. Not love of self but love for others. A leader is a person who puts themselves last, not first. A leader is a person of action, not words. Look for leaders who love like this. When you can't find them, become one.<br />
<br />
3. God's Got This<br />
<br />
My favorite bible passage is...<br />
"Don't worry about anything. Instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done".- Philippians 4:6-7<br />
<br />
Pray all the time. Prayer does not have to be mindless recitations. Prayer can be simple meditating, a song, a drawing, a conversation. Prayer is a powerful instrument of change. My babies, remember, you are not in control. You never have been. You must always do the right thing, even when no one is looking. But, you must know, even if you do the right thing, the outcome may not be what you think it should. This is when you must lay your troubles at the foot of the cross. He's got this. He always has and always will.<br />
<br />
So, before you cast a vote, such as the one I will cast tomorrow, take the time to say a prayer. Call on the mighty St. Michael or as Paul McCartney once sang, "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be" {calm down Beatles fans... I know this is about his mother but I like to think he was singing about Blessed Mother}. Never stop praying. God hears the voices of all his children. <br />
<br />
There it is my children. The thoughts I am holding in my heart tonight. This is the wisdom I want to share with you. The world is not broken. Don't buy into the lies that we are told. No matter who wins tomorrow, the world will keep spinning. Even though they have tried to make us lose hope and faith, keep in mind that we are still a nation that is great. A nation that is still full of good people. A nation that is so strong, even in its weaknesses, that no election will ever destroy us. Instead it will hopefully make us think deeply about what it is that truly matters to us. What are the defining truths that will guide us going forward. While this election is scary, I am also choosing to believe that it has also given us a newfound desire to leave this world a much better place for our children. <br />
<br />
As I cast my vote tomorrow I will be thinking of each of you. I will be voting as a voice for the least of us. I will be voting with love in my heart. Love that I vow will continue to be an action not just a meaningless word. And, lastly, after much prayer, I will vote trusting that whatever the outcome, God's got this. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-59846130853402215002016-08-26T20:41:00.000-07:002016-08-27T18:23:16.843-07:00327 Days and the Counting Crows...<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This morning on my kitchen table I found this….</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">To you, it may just
be a nicely drawn picture with song lyrics, but to me it was another example of
how proud my firstborn son makes me. You
see my son, Shawn, drew this photo for his Godmother. She had been bugging him about this for
awhile. She asked him to make her a
drawing of Adam Duritz from the Counting Crows with the words to her favorite
song {Anna Begins}. Shawnie doesn’t have
a lot of free time. He is the hardest
working 16 year old you will ever meet. I
couldn’t believe that he spent time doing this.
In this moment it really made me reflect on how lucky I am that he is my
son. How sad I am going to be when he
leaves home in 327 days. And, how much
my life has been changed because of who he is.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When I found out I was pregnant with Shawn, my world was flipped upside down. I had just turned 20 and was working a
minimum wage job while going part time to school. I was scared out of my mind. My family and friends, for the most part,
were ashamed of me and offered very little support. I remember there was a lot of judgment. Thank God for his father. He always told me “this is not a
tragedy”. How prophetic those words are
now. He was excited and gave me confidence we could do this. When Shawnie was born my whole life
shifted. Holding that wriggly, slimy
newborn with tears running down my face, I knew my life would never be the
same. I learned how to be selfless. I learned how to be loving, generous and
patient. Through his pregnancy I vowed
to always be compassionate and kind to all people. He taught me what faith really is and that
having faith means you must act with love.
To this day he remains my biggest supporter. He is my reason for everything. I need him WAY more than he needs me. He has no idea how much he has changed my
life. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvFBwPPLu7oBw70wKmMCN_X8ZQXtkv3Dok8-73Qteg50Cze0mtNUOZkT8olgE4TzBdeaxbiCnWzrOXOcEYVRPHPbji6x9sJ8VAYLn2nv0EOydcnfIw4DRNYlFfBfK1GKx43q7JbGAxHoEs/s1600/shawnblog8.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvFBwPPLu7oBw70wKmMCN_X8ZQXtkv3Dok8-73Qteg50Cze0mtNUOZkT8olgE4TzBdeaxbiCnWzrOXOcEYVRPHPbji6x9sJ8VAYLn2nv0EOydcnfIw4DRNYlFfBfK1GKx43q7JbGAxHoEs/s200/shawnblog8.png" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">People have no idea how hard this kid works. How much of who he is comes from how much he
does. Never complaining. Just doing what needs to get done. He has maintained a high GPA while taking all
accelerated high school courses. He has
rocked out his ACT which means he will most likely be able to score free in-
state college tuition. He has done that
for himself but also, for us. He has always worked hard to make our lives easier. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This year he had an opportunity to take 3 college courses
and do a Monday-Friday internship since he got all his high school credits in a year early. Most
kids would not have loaded up on all of those classes. In fact, Shawnie gave us all the reasons why he should not do this. We kept encouraging him to take advantage of the opportunity and work really hard. And, Shawnie did.
It was not the easy decision but he knew it was the best decision for
his future self. He is currently
enrolled in 3 college classes that occur every morning. Every night he has about 2 hours of homework
that he does. I never have to check on
his work or follow up. I never have had
to. He just does what he needs to do and
moves on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">He also has a MWF
internship at our elementary school mentoring under a Kindergarten
teacher. He leaves his school and works
here til 3:30. His future aspirations is
to become a teacher. He could be
anything he wants to be. He chooses to
pursue a job where he will work for peanuts, helping others. He will most likely never own a giant house,
have huge trophies or awards decorating a big fancy desk in a corner office
overlooking the city. He will work for
others. No matter how I try to
discourage him, he has his mind set.
After his internship, to make sure I don’t have to pick him up, he walks
home. It’s a pretty long walk. He never complains. He just walks. Most kids would spend hours a week
complaining about this… Shawnie doesn’t. He walks to make my life easier. He is constantly serving others before himself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">On Tuesday and Thursday he leaves school and catches a
public bus to get to the other side of town and then walks to his second
internship/job. He works for his Papaw
in his real estate office till 6 on these days.
So far, he has been unable to have the bus let him out at the correct
bus stop. He has had to walk about a mile
and a half to the office. Again, he
doesn’t complain. He takes it in stride. I pick him up and make him listen to my sad Spotify playlist called 327 Days. He puts up with it and laughs as I cry. He gets home and digs right
into his homework after eating a rushed dinner. He laughs about his bus misfortune and tells his stories of woes always hoping to bring a smile to someone's face. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFvIIdOQcpeAoTs4qMiezC59gbtEGwjjc0YFvK_mOAtEFJ2hdh3fudbI4zyR1EXyOWwdAYtDkObibUSa3FO_WVRlpMiAlo-t3WPJvDAQsBoq3N0As3CmYlKBm3YG05lcDZtKM-mSPSkzub/s1600/shawnblog6.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFvIIdOQcpeAoTs4qMiezC59gbtEGwjjc0YFvK_mOAtEFJ2hdh3fudbI4zyR1EXyOWwdAYtDkObibUSa3FO_WVRlpMiAlo-t3WPJvDAQsBoq3N0As3CmYlKBm3YG05lcDZtKM-mSPSkzub/s200/shawnblog6.png" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Shawnie has also
volunteered to help at our church running the Alpha program for our CYO
group. He hasn’t rolled his eyes about
my pressure to stay involved in church. He just does what he needs to do and is
excited about starting this. This will
be a commitment. This has not stopped
Shawnie from doing what he feel he needs to do.
He continues making his faith a priority and recently, has even asked to
go on a silent retreat with me to discern his future. He jokes about becoming a monk. Part of me wonders if one day he may pursue
that. Even if it is a passing fad most
teenagers go through, it shows me how he is constantly looking for God’s will
in his life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The kid also is in a
band called Johnny Conqueroo. The band is exploding.
He has band practice and gigs every weekend and they are working on
recording, so most of his weekends are spent playing bass in the "studio." Their band, Johnny Conqueroo,
is currently being scouted by some record labels and a big time manager has
been working with them for over a year.
The amount of pressure I know he feels being a part of this band is so
high for a kid of 16 years, soon to be 17. Most kids
couldn’t handle this, but Shawnie can and does this with the ease and grace I
only wish I could have. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Most importantly, Shawnie has FIVE brothers and sisters that
he helps with. He is my right hand man
at home a lot of the time. In fact, when he leaves for
college, I actually legitimately don’t know what I am going to do with out
him. His brothers idolize him. Going to have a sleepover with Shawnie and
being able to play video games with him is the highlight of their week. The way they look at him is truly a thing to
behold. Emma is his best friend at
home. He watches out for her at school
and makes sure that she surrounds herself with good people. He is her biggest fan. He has no idea how much she looks for his
approval. Kiley Grace adores Shawn. She waits for the minute he chooses to call her out for time
or attention. Out of all my kids, she
looks up to him the most. Lucy Kate is
the luckiest. She gets his undivided attention
each day when he holds her and cuddles her.
He is never overwhelmed by the chaos of a big family. He has always adjusted and kept the peace in
our family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Most of you know that
our son, Keegan, has Reactive Attachment Disorder. This dominates so much of our time and
energy. Shawnie is the best encourager
for Keegan. He spends so much time
mentoring him. He makes sure Keegan
knows when he is disappointed in his bad decisions but more importantly, he is
right there to praise every good decision he makes. Part of RAD is that the child treats the
mother really badly. It breaks my
heart. Do you know that anytime this
happens, Shawnie comes swooping in to give me a big huge hug? He constantly tells me and reinforces to me
what a good mom I am. And, I believe
him. He doesn’t just do that for me… he
does that for all of us. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Above all he is
kind. Really kind. He is good. I mean really good. He is the definition of selfless and
humble. The thing that gets me is I have
no idea how he became this way. Shawn
and I made good parenting decisions but we also made some bad ones. We always hoped we were doing a good
job but you never really know. There
were so many nights I cried myself to sleep with guilt about how much I yelled
or said mean things to my son because I lost my temper and focus. I mourn how many nights I fell asleep without
even remembering if I had hugged or kissed him good night. But, I am so hopeful, that part of who his
is, is because we did some things right. If we did anything right, I hope Shawnie would
agree, it was that Shawnie was loved.
At his best and his worst. He knew
he was loved. He knew enough about his
faith to know that the greatest commandment is to "love your neighbor as I have
loved you". Be compassionate, merciful,
kind and never lose your faith.
Hopefully we can credit some of who he is with instilling in him
selflessness. Giving more to others than
you do to yourself. He is rich in all
these qualities that, at the end of the day, are the only things that really matter. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">As I reflect on Shawnie and his last 327 days at home {how
pathetic is that countdown} I am so thankful to God for giving us the wisdom to
parent Shawnie the way we have. Shawnie
was our #unplannedpregnancy and society would have said he should never have
been born. What a waste to the world
that would have been. Thank God we listened to our hearts and not to some of the harsh, unkind words that were said towards us.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"> He has started his last year at home. He has started it off by an act that is both
humble and kind. That picture is a true
gift to his Godmother and more than the quality of the art, is the act from
which it came. He took time... a lot of
time… to make another person happy. He
really didn’t have the time, energy or creativity to spare… but he did it
anyways. It is a gift I know his
Godmother will treasure and it is one that has reminded me once again how lucky I am to be his mom and how very much he
will be missed when he leaves our nest.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";">*** Weirdly, Tim McGraw sang this song about my kid. I hope this song makes you think of your own
kid. Enjoy every minute because it goes by much faster than you would think ***</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span><b><span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">"Humble
And Kind"</span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #333333; font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt;">You know there's a light that glows by the
front door<br />
Don't forget the key's under the mat<br />
When childhood stars shine,<br />
Always stay humble and kind<br />
<br />
Go to church 'cause your mamma says to<br />
Visit grandpa every chance that you can<br />
It won't be wasted time<br />
Always stay humble and kind<br />
<br />
Hold the door, say "please", say "thank you"<br />
Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie<br />
I know you got mountains to climb<br />
But always stay humble and kind<br />
When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you<br />
When the work you put in is realized<br />
Let yourself feel the pride<br />
But always stay humble and kind<br />
<br />
Don't expect a free ride from no one<br />
Don't hold a grudge or a chip and here's why:<br />
Bitterness keeps you from flyin'<br />
Always stay humble and kind<br />
<br />
Know the difference between sleeping with someone<br />
And sleeping with someone you love<br />
"I love you" ain't no pick-up line<br />
So always stay humble and kind<br />
<br />
Hold the door, say "please", say "thank you"<br />
Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie<br />
I know you got mountains to climb<br />
But always stay humble and kind<br />
When those dreams you're dreamin' come to you<br />
When the work you put in is realized<br />
Let yourself feel the pride<br />
But always stay humble and kind<br />
<br />
When it's hot, eat a root beer popsicle<br />
Shut off the AC and roll the windows down<br />
Let that summer sun shine<br />
Always stay humble and kind<br />
<br />
Don't take for granted the love this life gives you<br />
When you get where you're going don't forget turn back around<br />
And help the next one in line<br />
Always stay humble and kind </span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-63172058903535217382016-08-08T07:59:00.003-07:002016-08-08T08:17:31.352-07:00Adoption Takes A Village<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Today is Fantastic Five Day.
We named this day for the day Keegan officially and legally became our
son and made us a family of 5 children. Usually
around this time of year I am reflecting on our adoption day and thinking about
so many important things. In the past I
have written about Keegan, his bio mom, adoptive moms and how our family was
changed on this day. But, I have never
wrote a thank you to all of the people in our lives who helped make Fantastic
Five a reality. Without their support
and encouragement we would never have had the courage or faith to make this
happen. </span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Adopting a child is no joke.
Adopting a child when you had no plans for it are almost
impossible. Adopting a child while you
have 4 biological children and live in a 1200 square foot is literally
laughable. No one in our lives doubted
us. No one in our lives tried to
discourage us. Most importantly,
everyone in our lives prayed for us and gave us more support than we could have
ever imagined. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">What people don’t know is that adoption does not just start
and stop. For some adoptive families,
adoption is a journey that is difficult and the terrain is rocky and
uncertain. For us, it was very clear
that something was not right. Keegan
did awesome in the beginning but after a year of living with us, his behavior
became very aggressive and concerning. Our
days were consumed with fits, control issues and manipulation. I received almost daily calls from school
about Keegans behavior and I was literally trying to figure out how I could
keep my job when my job needed to be staying at home helping my hurt son. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When we received the diagnosis that Keegan had RAD {Reactive
Attachment Disorder} we were literally panicked thinking of what our future
would be like. So many of the RAD
families have such heartbreaking stories.
Stories of children who are removed and institutionalized. Children who never thrive socially. Children who are so manipulative that
allegations are made and families are ripped apart. During that time our daily lives literally
felt like a constant tornado. We never
seemed to catch a break and were having to learn how to parent in a completely
different way. We were scared and
feeling very hopeless. Again, our
community of supporters rallied around us and held us up through prayer,
listening, encouragement and support. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Finally after 4 years, things are settling down a little
bit. We have grown stronger as parents
and Keegan is making huge strides. We
have found an awesome therapist and Keegan is thriving as he begins to learn
how to trust more and understand how to control and identify his emotions. I think he is finally believing that we are
his FOREVER family and no matter what he does, that will NEVER change. I am not naïve enough to think that our
struggle is finished… in fact, it may just be starting. But, I am so confident that we have the tools
to continue making slow, daunting steps forward. Most importantly, we are surrounded by so
many people that we are indebted to for their support and understanding.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Today’s Fantastic Five Day blog is not going to be about us. It is going to be a thank you note for ALL of
the people who have helped us through this journey. I have chosen some great examples and I am
sure I will forget some people. Just
know how thankful we are for the support we have received during the last 4
years!</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">First, Tots Landing.
The place where I met and fell in love with Keegan. Working at Tots Landing for 14+ years, I am
still amazed at how my job has become an extended part of my family. During this time I had so many of my employees
and co-workers supporting me. Here are
just a few…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Missy, who I called when I realized this was really going to
happen. I had a complete breakdown in
her house after I knew this was for sure going to happen. I knew God was answering my prayers but I was
so scared and worried that this choice would hurt my family in the future. Missy helped me understand I would never have
a magic ball that would help me tell the future. I just had to have faith in God’s will. That day I started praying for “Let me hear
and know God’s will and have the courage and faith to follow it”. I still pray that prayer everyday. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Rob and Missy, my owners.
When I went to them and talked about needing to arrange my schedule to
be very flexible so I could be there to parent Keegan, they didn’t
hesitate. They adjusted my schedule to
be able to give me a Flex day to be home when my kids needed me. They enabled
me to have my afternoons off so I could be home to monitor keegan… keeping him
and my family safe and happy.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">All of the Directors who listened to me almost daily talk
about the process of adoption. My fears,
my tears and finally, my joy. They stood
by me when this was just a small dream, cried with me when we thought he would
never come home and when he finally did come home, helped us celebrate and feel
like a family!</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When Keegan came to our house, we literally didn’t even have
a bed for him. The girls I worked with
knew that we were so worried about the cost of adoption and that our house was
not really conducive to adding another child.
But, they believed in us. The
girls pulled their money together to help buy us bunk beds so Keegan would have
a place to sleep. These are the same
girls who constantly lifted me up without ever knowing it. They never really knew how much I needed
their support and encouragement. They
made me feel like the best mom in the whole world even on the days I doubted
myself the most.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">More Big Thanks to…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">My sister and brother in law who offered to help us pay for
the adoption. This was going to cost us
a lot of money and even though we didn’t end up needing it, just knowing this
was not a hurdle we needed to worry about, was a huge relief. That selfless offer helped us know that we
needed to do this.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">My father in law who helped us convert our basement into
livable space. Knowing that we would be
doubling our living space and adding on 2 more rooms made this adoption a less
daunting task. He helped to give our
older children private space, which they desperately needed. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Our families, who met Keegan and immediately embraced him
and our new family. No questions asked,
no worries or fears expressed. Complete
acceptance and love. Never once did they
share their doubts with us. Never once
did they give us any judgement on how we were choosing to parent him. When Keegan started struggling, they accepted
our parenting and helped to support us…even when they thought we were
crazy. They listen to me breakdown on my
days where I lose hope and give me strength and courage with their words. They love us all, unconditionally. We have never had to doubt that EVER. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_OKfcn8bKhtftmWe3BuxqEu9pquZmN-vjjSmyEEaMYdLjv4qQuomQIF17eB_mJsD6zb8qs5YtqVoJI1QcWAftbxb8c7g5yEFRPtp5z7zabKH-_FA57uHAoax-swZz-6PQU0D3WfsMEOYs/s1600/u14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_OKfcn8bKhtftmWe3BuxqEu9pquZmN-vjjSmyEEaMYdLjv4qQuomQIF17eB_mJsD6zb8qs5YtqVoJI1QcWAftbxb8c7g5yEFRPtp5z7zabKH-_FA57uHAoax-swZz-6PQU0D3WfsMEOYs/s320/u14.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Keegan's Godmother Emiley. Her heart broke when Keegan came to live with us. We knew how much she wanted him to stay with her. But, she never failed to support us and encourage us even when everyone in her world was not so accepting. Do you realize how difficult that is? She is the definition of LOVE and to this day, we are so grateful that she loved Keegan before we did. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Bobbi Silver, a parent at Tots Landing, who took our first family photos. She was the first person to capture how we all felt about one another. She took this picture that captured our complete joy. She also caught the many faces of Keegan... each one of them reasons why we fell in love with this precious boy. I will never be able to express how much those pictures mean to us. Our first famly photos.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Keegan’s teachers who have never judged us or any of our
parenting decisions we have made. My
bestie, Melissa and Ashley. Keegan’s
preschool teachers who stood by us when we almost had to remove him from my own
center due to behavior. Lol! They were
so committed and loved Keegan so much. </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Mrs. Kelley who cried with me when Keegan went through the
hardest year of our whole lives. We
didn’t think we would make it out of Kindergarten alive. She held us up and loved our boy even when he
was at his most unlovable. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Mrs. Lockhart who created a behavior plan that was so
consistent and positive that Keegan had no choice but to fall into line. She was the first teacher who gave me her
cell phone number and text me almost daily with updates and most importantly,
to share his good days. She had my back
and understood that we were working in his best interest. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Mrs. Henderson who always wants to know more and understand
what is going on. She had my back on the day we made Keegan come
to school to apologize for stealing. We left
within the hour after he refused. He
screamed and clawed the walls all the way out of the school as tears ran down
my face in humiliation, anger and sadness.
I called her and she said she trusted my instincts. This took away some humiliation and enabled
me to deal with the situation with hope and encouragement.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Keegan’s principal, Mrs. McLaughlin and all of his special
teachers, who know him by name and make him feel like a million bucks. They help to give him praise and raise his
self esteem. This is such an important tool
in his healing. Being surrounded by a
community of people who know he is the best kid in the whole world, even when
he acts out.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMsxLw7N36DPWsI6ZBWTl9WGbMS2uh1HF5ZHp_4eBPupFtRas8C2_3L1ZhrRC48GEPsKh1YVfnD-AGTIioTRhvtt7PaOtfAIxewHa1izd9G4ON5uPMrcdT_1b6T1j0w0EDQ75IcyP5Mt9/s1600/ad29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiMsxLw7N36DPWsI6ZBWTl9WGbMS2uh1HF5ZHp_4eBPupFtRas8C2_3L1ZhrRC48GEPsKh1YVfnD-AGTIioTRhvtt7PaOtfAIxewHa1izd9G4ON5uPMrcdT_1b6T1j0w0EDQ75IcyP5Mt9/s320/ad29.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "calibri";">My mom’s best friend, Leona who had adopted and fostered. She was the inspiration for me wanting to help
kids and foster. That has always been on
my heart. When we were adopting Keegan I
called her out of the blue. I asked for
her advice and she honestly and openly answered my questions. She made sure I knew this was not going to be
fairy tale story. Real life adoptions
from traumatic backgrounds are no joke.
They are hard. They will test
you. Her honesty gave me a better
perspective and armed us to ask the tough personal questions while we
discerned.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">All of my prayer warriors.
My CHRP sisters and St. Peter Claver family. They knew our struggles and have prayed for
us throughout. They helped me understand
that faith is an action not just a word.
Father Norman, who helps to give me encouragement and builds me up
spiritually. Reminding me constantly
that all of this is for the Glory of God.
Lastly and most importantly, Paul and Ann Coakley who helped to answer
questions on guardianship and prayed for us through the whole process. After Paul died, I continued using him as my
intercessor. During Lent, I was praying
so hard for understanding and help.
Literally begging. I heard him
clearly say, “Your job is not to fix him.
Your job is to love him.” That
perspective has been life changing for him and me.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">How could we have done the impossible without all of
YOU? In the last 4 years I have learned
that adoption takes a village. So on
this Fantastic Five Day, I need to thank YOU for making a difference in a child’s
life. Because of you Keegan will have a
FOREVER family. One that loves him
unconditionally and will never give up. A
future that will be so bright. People
often say to us, “Thank God for you. You
guys are awesome for adopting Keegan. He
will have such a great life because of you.”
But, that’s not true. He will
have a great life because of all of you.
This Fantastic Five Day, we say a prayer of thanksgiving for you. Thank you for being our strong foundation. Thank you for your encouragement, prayers,
support and love. There are no words to
express how important you are to us and most importantly, to Keegan. </span></div>
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-59862354548257989512016-01-06T13:34:00.002-08:002016-01-06T13:34:14.682-08:00A Christmas to Remember<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<u> <strong><span style="font-size: large;">A Christmas to Remember</span></strong></u></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><u><span style="font-size: large;"></span></u></strong> </div>
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This year we had the best Christmas break together as a family. It was full of joy and blessings. Most of all it was a reminder, yet again, to how God has worked in our families lives. I find myself, so many times, caught up in the everyday chaos of running here, there and everywhere. It is hard sometimes to catch my breath. There are many days I feel so overwhelmed by all that I have to do and find myself shouting at everyone around me. I can truly be one of the most ungrateful people in the world.</div>
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</div>
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I have been very blessed with the job I have. This job has enabled me to always put my family first. When my children need me, I can make arrangements to switch around my schedule and be there for them. I have never missed a concert, a play, a party etc and that is all because of the flexibility with my job. A few years ago I took a pretty decent pay cut to shorten my hours and to have 2 weeks off at Christmas. I needed to make my very large family my first priority. I was able to do it with the blessing of my co-workers and owners. There are not many places that are willing to do this for their employees and understand the true meaning of family. At Christmas I am always very aware of how blessed I am with the job that I have. I have been able to be a "stay at home" mom while I have worked. How many people can say that?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This break has allowed me to soak in the holiday moments that will not last forever. As my oldest son begins his rock star journey, I am so aware that my moments with him are going to be fewer and far between. It breaks my heart more than I can explain, but it has also given me pause to breathe in these last few holidays together with a much different perspective on what really matters. </div>
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This year was one of the very best Christmas' we have shared in a long time. We did not plan alot of activities and I made a VERY conscious effort to put my Martha Stewart up on the shelf to gather dust. We stayed in our jammies for 2 weeks and I did my very best to let the mess go. We laughed, played games, relaxed and really enjoyed each others company. It was so very needed for our family. Here are some of my favorite moments I wanted to share with you....</div>
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My husband surprised us with our very first outdoor light display. We came home from our trip to Michigan and I heard my little boys say, "why is daddy on the roof?" It brought tears to my eyes and made me feel so much love for the man I married. Working 12 hour days and spending every waking moment making this little Christmas miracle happen for us... words can not describe my pride and love for him!</div>
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Decorating our tree is a very big tradition for us. Every year since she was 2 years old, Emma has put our angel on our tree. Shawn has always lifted her up and even though she is our 14 year old freshman, she will always be her daddy's first baby girl. Again, this is one of those moments that catch me in my chest and are reminders that our time with our children is only borrowed. Soak in every single moment.</div>
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As most of you know we are expecting our 6th baby! It was definitely a happy surprise for us and again, this Christmas, I found myself reflecting on the gift of life we were given. It is a true miracle that God has given us 6 healthy, happy kids to love and nurture. We are truly undeserving and humbled by this. We pray all of the time that we will be worthy of this gift and do the very best job we can do. There is no doubt that our newest one will be loved so much by all of her family, near and far. </div>
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The week of Christmas we were scheduled to do our ultrasound. This time around, only Shawn and I went. We had decided that we would share this experience and we would also not know the sex until we revealed it to all of our family and friends. </div>
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The kids and I decorated a big box and had a poll posted on facebook. Were you #TeamBlue or #Team Blue? We marked the box with every name that commented. We then took a special ultrasound with the gender to Party City to have them secretly fill the box with the appropriate colored balloons. We came home and were surrounded by family and some of our awesome neighbors as we opened the box and shared the news...</div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: x-large;">It's a ..... GIRL!!!!</span></strong></div>
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Lucy Kate Reynolds is due on May 2nd and she will be surrounded by all of her family that already love her more than words! We never really cared either way if it was a boy or girl but I would be lying if we didn't catch lots of whoops and hollers! Isn't she the absolute cutest???</div>
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It has truly been the very best way to wrap up a very interesting 2015. This year has been filled with highs, lows and awesome surprise blessings. I can't wait to see what 2016 will bring us and how my family will continue to grow and learn. Merry Christmas from our crazy family to yours!Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-62244330349082852622015-08-04T18:04:00.002-07:002015-08-04T18:04:29.891-07:00#UnplannedParenthood Part Two***Before I begin to share this story, you should know I have talked with his Birth Mother and made sure to get permission to share her story.<br />
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I shared my story about my first experience with #UnplannedParenthood and now I want to share with everyone my second, most unexpected, story and blessing of #UnplannedParenthood. It is especially amazing as we get ready to celebrate our 3rd Fantastic Five Day {our special name for Adoption Day} with our chosen, and very much unplanned child, Keegan. The unbelievable gift of adoption placed him in our lives. The very opposite of abortion but no less heartbreaking for the mother. <br />
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I am so overwhelmingly grateful for every woman who made the choice to not abort their child and instead choose the beautiful option of adoption. The amazing selflessness and courage these birth mothers show in the face of adversity is something so heroic it can not be put into words. As I shared in my first story, I could never have the strength to have made that decision. To know another woman is raising and loving my child would have broken my heart into a million unrecoverable pieces. Because of that knowledge, I have such a special relationship with our Birth Mom. I know how she suffers but I also know how happy she is to know her little boy is loved and cared for. <br />
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Keegan is the poster child for Abortion. I mean this in the most respectful way. So many people who advocate for abortion and places like Planned Parenthood use the examples of children conceived through rape to teenage, uneducated, drug addicted mothers. This is my son's exact story and start to his life. This boy would be the perfect reason to walk inside a clinic and make the appointment to rid the world of his existence. My son, who has suffered so much in the first 2 and a half years of life. My son who is so beautiful, inside and out. A little boy who captured this mama's heart at hello and who literally changed me into the person I am today. This boy, the world says, should not exist. She didn't listen.<br />
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Somehow through the grace of God she knew she was meant to bring him into this world. She had determination to see her "choices" through to the other side. Thank God she felt a baby growing inside her and knew it was such an important job to give him life. She loved him enough and took a chance on her #unplannedparenthood. She was so scared but refused to believe the naysayers that told her it would not be worth it. She didn't listen <br />
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So Happy This Little Boy Came Into The World</div>
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She had everything going against her. She was 16 and had just learned to drive. She had definitely been known to party a time or two. She had no job and was in high school. The father of her baby was abusive and was accused of raping her. He was currently in jail. I can't even begin to imagine the fear her future must have held for her. Even with all of that adversity facing her, she still said yes to life. I can't begin to imagine the judgement, ridicule and bullying she would have had to deal with . Mostly from people who call themselves pro life. I know it must have been hard, because even though I was 3 years older than her, I had walked that path. I knew how convincing these pro life cowards can be. She didn't listen.<br />
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Sweet Cheeks</div>
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When Keegan was born it was far from an easy road for her. Her addictions grew over time and it was a huge struggle for a teenage mom to raise a son she was not prepared for. She had a variety of helpers who would take care of her son on the weekends. She had a support system but it never seemed like enough. It was hard to live on her own and make ends meet. It was pretty clear that Keegan was not receiving the right care and he was starting to suffer. She was exhausted, mentally drained, addicted and overwhelmed. The Pro Abortion advocates would use this part of the story to say, "see, he would have been better off never having been born." She didn't listen.<br />
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A Beautiful Picture of Keegan And His Birth Mother</div>
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When I had the pleasure of meeting Keegan, he was a ball of energy and so incredibly smart. I fell in love with him at first sight. I befriended his mom and did my very best to encourage her. We talked for weeks... almost every day. When his mom told me she was thinking of relinquishing him to foster care because it was too much for her, it was a natural instinct only a mother could have, when I said, "Let us take him. I will be his mom". At the time, I didn't know what this would mean but I did know that sweet Keegan needed a family and a mom that could love him and take care of him. I felt such a sisterhood with his mom and was already deeply connected to her. Mother to mother... she needed help, he needed a mom and God gave me the immense blessing of being chosen for him.<br />
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Right Before I Met Keegan- 2 Years Old</div>
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The world would say she should not give up a child she had raised for 3 years. That it was her selfish addiction that she was choosing over her child. How could she walk away from this baby boy she fought so hard for? The world told her again and again that she was such a horrible person for saying she couldn't do it. It didn't matter that she spent countless nights tossing and turning trying to find a way to be the mom Keegan needed. The world didn't have time to empathize with her but had plenty of time to dish out judgment. She, again, didn't listen. </div>
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The Face I Fell In Love With</div>
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I am forever grateful to his mom for being open to adoption and not listening to so many people who told her it was impossible. I am deeply humbled that she chose me to be his mom. I don't take this responsibility lightly. Her courage and faith she demonstrated by carrying her baby to term is stuff of legends. Her selflessness to place her child into the arms of a woman she barely knew, but knew enough to know he would be loved, should be an inspiration to young mothers everywhere. Her humility {which I am working so hard on learning myself} in admitting she could not do it should showcase to the world the power of being a virtuous person. Adoption is not the answer for every mother facing adversity but she so clearly showed that it is an option that can be a win/win for all parties. <br />
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Keegan and I On His Adoption Day- "Fantastic Five Day"</div>
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We chose to have a semi open adoption with Keegan's birth mom. We chose this because it was in Keegan's best interest. You see, our child, is always at the heart of every decision we make. We stay in touch through pictures and social media. We text and I give her as many updates as I can on how her sweet little boy is doing. <br />
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This semi-open adoption has not been easy for her or me. She allowed her parents and brother's family to have contact with Keegan and our family. This is definitely not easy for her as she watches us form relationships without her. While she can not be in his physical presence, she has given that gift to her family. We both have to constantly work through feelings of selfishness, jealousy, anger, hurt, guilt, sadness and grief. We pray for each other and for our son. We celebrate every one of his wins and cry over each of his struggles. Even though we are walking two different paths, we are so connected in everything we feel and do. She is my son's birthmother, my friend and mostly, my hero. She made a decision the world told her should not be made and I am so very grateful EVERYDAY. <br />
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Little Baller</div>
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Our birth mom has shown us the incredible courage it takes to change a child's life for the better. While we were given the gift of fertility and had never "planned" on adopting a child, our birth mom gave us a much undeserved gift of life and love that we now know is transforming. Some facts to consider... as of 2006 the CDC reported that 600,000 women in the United States were waiting to adopt a child. That same year the CDC reported that 845,000 abortions occurred in the U.S... eliminating the ability for these woman to become mothers. EVERY woman can choose not to listen and instead grab ahold of their #unplannedparenthood with faith, hope and trust. EVERY woman can consider the gift of adoption and giving another woman the blessing of being a mom. That is giving women "choices". That is giving power to women. Adoption is a beautiful option and if was sold as aggressively as abortion, could you even imagine the sisterhood that would exist? <br />
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Adoption Day in the Judges Chambers</div>
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It has not always been an easy journey. The road to adoption and #UnplannedParenthood has been incredibly painful for myself and family. It has been costly in more ways than just financially. But it has also transformed our lives in ways too numerous to count. Throughout this journey, I have learned so many valuable lessons. To always have hope in every situation and to use your faith to hold you up when it seems hopeless. To love unconditionally and give it up to God. Trust that He is guiding the course of your life and will NEVER let you down. Most importantly, NEVER listen to the world. Society is full of jaded people who can never really know your story or the strength of your character. Bravery exists in some of the weakest people and those people inevitably inspire the world to be better. <br />
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#Adoptionisanoption</div>
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How could the world say he should not exist? How could they defend the millions of Keegans we are missing in this world? I can't even fathom a world without my son in it. It would be a world empty of adventures and the beautiful spirit of curiosity. It would never hear his crazy laughter or see his boundless energy. It would never feel his snuggles or his juicy kisses. My Tom Sawyer would not have a Huck Finn to ride through life together. I would not have someone to love so fiercely my heart breaks at the mere thought that his life would be anything less than perfect. Keegan has taught me the most important lesson and I hope his story has taught you something too... EVERY child has value, even when society tells you they don't. EVERY child has the incredible ability to change your world if you just let them. <br />
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Our Fantastic Five....#UnplannedParenthood</div>
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***If you enjoyed this story of #UnplannedParenthood, please share it with some encouraging words of affirmation and love for Birthmoms everywhere. </div>
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Also, when you share it, please include a prayer for all women who have had abortions. Pray that during this horrific time of investigation into Planned Parenthood, they feel peace and sisterhood with women everywhere. May we bring hope, LOVE and support to each other, especially in times of adversity.</div>
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Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-80491154401260394752015-08-01T11:39:00.001-07:002015-08-01T15:47:03.949-07:00#UnplannedParenthood Part OnePlanned Parenthood has got my knickers in a twist. I recently saw this new trend of showing pictures of your children that were unplanned and how that has made your life so much better. For a long time, I have wanted to share my story of #unplannedparenthood. Today seemed like the perfect day.<br />
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When I was 19, I fell in love with my husband. We knew on our second date that we were going to get married. We started dating in August and by January we were engaged. We wanted to get married right away. We had such amazing plans that included school, traveling and all sorts of amazing dreams. I found out I was pregnant in March. I had just turned 20, Shawn was 19. I was scared to death.<br />
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I was the oldest daughter of a staunch Catholic house. My parents already were not necessarily happy that I was engaged to a boy they hardly knew. I knew this would ensure that they would hate Shawn forever. On top of that I grew up hearing my dad say, "If you come home pregnant, you should probably not come home". Being pregnant before marriage was probably the worst offense a girl in our family could have. <br />
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Before I even told Shawn I contemplated "My Choices". Based on everything I knew and was told by society, I could not trust that Shawn would want this responsibility. Society gives men a "Get out of jail free card". I knew he could choose to leave me and I believed I was doing him a favor by letting him off the hook. I could run away and have the baby at a home for unwed mothers. I could raise the baby on my own. I contemplated adoption... but not for long. I couldn't bear the thought of another mom raising my child. I even contemplated an abortion. No one would know. Shawn and I could have that magic fairy tale wedding and no one would be the wiser. It was the simplest decision and would "rid" me of this blemish... this blob of cells that meant nothing. It wasn't even a baby yet. <br />
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I prayed a lot and was lost in thoughts for a few days. I quickly realized that I could not abort my baby. I knew he was going to be a son. I felt it and I already loved that blob of cells. While it would be an answered prayer to "do away" with my pregnancy, I knew I couldn't do it. So, I decided that no matter what, I was going to be his mom... and a damn good one. <br />
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I am so glad that during this time I did not have Dr. Drew to watch, Pro Choice friends to talk to and I thank God everyday that I NEVER went into Planned Parenthood. Based on my anxiety, it may not have taken much for anyone to convince me to have just a tiny operation that would erase my "mistake". So many women have been duped by their lies. My son could have easily become an organ sold to the highest bidder. I would have held the deep emotionally traumatizing scars so many of my friends hold years after the "tiny operation on a blob of cells".<br />
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More importantly, I was so glad I did not talk to my Pro Life friends or family. If I had talked to them without knowing with 100% certainty of what I would do, I may have been scared enough to have an abortion. Their judgment, ridicule and lack of support would have been the final nail in that coffin. I could never have prepared myself for the judgment that Shawn and I would receive. Most of it coming from the "Pro Life" community. I could never have anticipated the lack of celebration for this new life that we were blessed with. <br />
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After I made my "choice", I wrote an embarrassing letter to my fiancé. I told him what was going on and the decision I made. I also gave him permission to walk away... I did not want him to feel like I, or our son, had ruined his life. I also did not have the courage to look at his face when he heard the news. I knew he would have the same reaction I did. Fear, shock and disappointment. If he chose to stay, I did not ever want that face in my memory. <br />
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I was so stupid. Shawn was scared, in shock but far from disappointed. He was disappointed in me for writing that letter that reduced him to nothing more than a statistic that society has created for men. He was the ONLY person during the next few months that reminded me EVERYDAY that this is not a tragedy. This is a blessing. We were just going to do things a little differently. God gave us a son and we should celebrate that. This is a precious life that was entrusted to us. Shawn was the one reason that I got up every morning to face ridicule, judgment and negativity, mostly coming from our Pro Life friends and family. Our church community was the worst. Catholics were some of our biggest critics. The same Catholics that now post these videos had no problem standing in condemnation of our "sins". <br />
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We were married when I was NINE months pregnant in a Catholic Church with one of our biggest supporters, Fr. Bob. He was a true angel sent to us. When other priests refused to marry us because we were keeping our baby {aka pregnant before marriage}, Fr. Bob counseled us with honesty and most importantly, COMPASSION. Fr. Bob was the definition of Pro Life.<br />
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Shawnie was born 22 days later. Our lives were forever changed for the better. He is the light in my life... still. He is getting ready to turn 16 and is one of the most caring kids I know. He is intelligent and a born leader. He is so creative and is part of a really amazing band. He has great friends and is the best role model to his siblings. They look up to him as their hero. I KNEW he would be a boy and I KNEW he would be a world changer. And, he is. I still don't know exactly what he will do with his life but I do know that it will be amazing. He is my #unplannedparenthood and I am so thankful everyday for the strength and courage that it took to make the only "choice" that could be made. <br />
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To think that this kid may not have been born, hurts my heart deeply. I am so deeply ashamed that I contemplated, even for a moment, ending his life. To think that I could have made a different "choice" and he would not have existed is mind boggling. I can not imagine a world without him. There are so many Shawnies that have been lost to the lies of Planned Parenthood. <br />
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It is time for all of us to stand in solidarity and be TRUE representatives of what Pro Life is all about. It is about supporting the women with honesty, compassion and endless support- both financial and emotional. If we all band together to do that, there would be no reason for abortion. Women would know that they will NEVER be alone and their precious baby is a GIFT. They would feel powerful to be included in this circle of women that have been given this amazing ability to give life to a human. Men would know that they do not get nor deserve a "get out of jail free card". And for once, women would feel the slogan "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar". Planned Parenthood has stripped so many women of this knowledge by reducing them to a powerless, used woman who made a mistake and needs to be rid of it. That is NOT my definition of a woman. We are SO much more strong and courageous than that.<br />
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These videos MUST be watched. No matter how disturbing or graphic. We must be aware of what Abortion really is. We must advocate to DEFUND this illegally operating company and demand PROSECUTION of the criminals involved. We can not do this without being fully informed. Don't just watch the edited version. Watch the full length video, so you can defend these revolutionaries who may just finally help turn the tide on Abortion in this country. Or at least redefine this "blob of cells" that has no value.<br />
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This CRIMINAL organization, that for years, has successfully convinced women in crisis that their babies were just blob of cells and useless tissue. A problem that could be disposed of. Interesting that this blob of cells is now being sold to the highest bidder. Not just sold as a blob but as discernible organs and body parts from the first trimester into the second and third. The world is totally surprised and disgusted but I am not. <br />
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I challenge each of you to work everyday to be fully PRO LIFE and stand arm and arm with women who make the choice to embrace #unplannedparenthood with courage, dignity and hope. Give them a reason to walk away from the lies that society rains down on them. Be the change you wish to see in this world. Be the reason kids like Shawnie exist. <br />
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Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-7234337912377063872015-07-20T16:09:00.000-07:002015-07-20T16:09:10.463-07:00St. Paul... The World ChangerSix months ago the world suffered a devastating blow. It was not highlighted on CNN, homeland security was not called in, the President did not issue a statement... but nonetheless, the world was changed. Schools did not close, flags were not lowered to half mast, a day of remembrance was not nationally recognized... but, again, the world did change. I saw it. I know.<br />
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The day Paul died was really surreal, especially for those that knew him. Paul had the heart of a true adventurer and a love for Jesus like no one I had ever known. He was a real life Superman that scaled mountains, jumped off cliffs, took sporadic road trips into the unknown. He had a passion for life that I have not seen in anyone else. When Paul was diagnosed with aggressive cancer, it was unfathomable. It would be like telling someone the oceans had dried up overnight. Imagine everyone's surprise when he passed one MONTH later. My family has never experienced that kind of shocking loss. The world had truly changed. It was a little more empty but filled with so much more faith, hope and love than I could ever describe.<br />
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As this 6 month mark comes up, I have to reflect on all the ways Paul has changed the world.<br />
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My family also had never seen so many people come together to pray for strangers with true love and humanity. 10,000 people went to his facebook page and read the daily updates on Paul and his family. Strangers around the world began to #LiveLikePaul. They posted photos of how their lives were made more spectacular by this amazing man. Strangers began to #LoveLikeAnn and collectively raised money and donated furnishings to complete a home for her and her 3 precious babies. Strangers showed how to #LoveLikePaul as we all celebrated the birth of sweet Blaze and prayed for his mama. The world had truly changed for the better.<br />
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Ann, Paul's Mom and Little Blaze</div>
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Paul's message to everyone who was praying</div>
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In his suffering and very early death, Ann helped to show us God's love and trusting in his perfect timing. Her sharing of his illness and death came at a time when society was totally cool with terminal people throwing in the towel. Paul's determination to not quit and continue to suffer through treatments has been a true testament to the value of LIFE. While we all shared pictures of how we were going to #PrayForPaul, he held up his own sign and told us he was praying for our intentions with his suffering. His passing with his arms raised to God is proof that he was a good and faithful servant. He gave us hope for our own calling home. Our world has been changed for the better.<br />
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Shawn's inspired Leap of Prayer</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb8dqe32vQKB70qfs-UhZh_8h4gFxND9ZfiQZCVilU0ehRcMLd9GTHo2kUOZ20QE0z0G6NIibykUB_Pfooa1_TeDp0t-09gNvuozbHd5G-hF4W3_pZLtM3MT9cTXBhFoyhZCdFcAh_uA1A/s1600/vv8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb8dqe32vQKB70qfs-UhZh_8h4gFxND9ZfiQZCVilU0ehRcMLd9GTHo2kUOZ20QE0z0G6NIibykUB_Pfooa1_TeDp0t-09gNvuozbHd5G-hF4W3_pZLtM3MT9cTXBhFoyhZCdFcAh_uA1A/s320/vv8.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Dylan's Prayer</div>
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While Paul lived, he witnessed to all of us Buckleys how to pray and live with humility. After Paul passed he was my inspiration to visit adoration, find a new love for the rosary and live my faith out loud and with passion. He showed me, by his example, to put your faith on display... not in your face but a part of who you are. I had never really done this. My faith was very private but Paul's life showed me it is inspiring when you share your faith. I began to really seek out a more fulfilling spiritual life. I finally got the courage to get a Spiritual Director and have made daily prayer a part of my life. My world had changed for the better. <br />
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A quiet moment of prayer and reflection</div>
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Photo of Adoration a few nights before Paul passed</div>
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While Paul lived he and Ann were inspirational in the adoption of our Keegan. After Paul passed he was my intercessor as I learned how to really LOVE my sweet boy who was just diagnosed with RAD. I have always loved Keegan but for 3 years I had been trying to "Fix" Keegan. My boy is a firecracker! During Lent my daily prayers including asking Paul to help show me the way to be a better mom to Keegan, I heard very clearly..."Your job is not to fix him, it is to love him". That answer gave me the peace that I was searching for and the confidence to know that God's got this. I also found so much comfort in knowing how "crazy" Paul was and that his energy is how he served God. I am so confident that my "crazy" Keegan will bring that same energy to his life and I am so hopeful that he will inspire others, too. My patience and empathy increased and I was able to have more fun with my kids. The peace I felt by this message of hope made me such a better mom to all of my children. My children's world has been changed for the better.<br />
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Me and my Sweet Boy</div>
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My prayerful art work made during Lent</div>
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My own Superman... </div>
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While Paul lived my family would be entertained by stories of his adventures. Mary would spend time sharing and laughing about these, seriously, crazy things he had got her to do or had done. He never said no to an adventure. When he lived at our parents house, his laughter filled up the room. He hated when we fought and would make us laugh at our own stupidity. He valued the importance of family. After Paul passed he became my family's push. The push to get out and make adventures of our own. We brought Paul with us on hiking trips, on sporadic road trips and have even used him as our inspiration for a camping trip to Missouri. My little boys wear their pink shirts on every adventure and we all remember St. Paul. My family's world has been changed for the better.<br />
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Walking across the Bridge</div>
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Hiking at Natural Bridge</div>
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Posing at the top</div>
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Wearing his St. Paul shirt</div>
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Everyday he is carried in my heart and his family is carried in my prayers. There are a hundred other little ways that Paul's life and death have profoundly impacted me. Ways I could never make people understand. These are the little miracles that Paul has given to each of us. I know he is up there, looking down on all of us. He is continuing to pray for us and is changing lives through the example of his own. I am deeply humbled to have known this man. I continue to be deeply humbled to call his wife a long lost sister. Their examples have changed the world for the better and I have been lucky to see that in my own life. #StPaulPrayForUs #LiveLikePaul #LoveLikeAnn<br />
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If you have not read Paul's story you should... <a href="http://www.livelikepaul.com/">www.livelikepaul.com</a><br />
If you have not donated to Ann and her family, you should... <a href="http://www.lovelikepaul.com/">www.lovelikepaul.com</a><br />
If you have not been a part of the Facebook page that is changing the world, you should.... <a href="https://www.facebook.com/paulandanncoakleyneedamiracle?fref=ts">https://www.facebook.com/paulandanncoakleyneedamiracle?fref=ts</a><br />
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If you have stories to share of how Paul has changed your life, please post them on the facebook page. Let's let the whole world know how it has been changed.<br />
Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-40281619145427505202015-01-20T11:49:00.001-08:002015-01-20T11:49:29.541-08:00Well Done Good and Faithful ServantThe Parable of the Talents is one of my favorite stories of the bible. Yesterday as I prayed for Paul in adoration, I was getting very frustrated that I was not hearing God. I couldn't hear him. I wanted some peace and found that I left without feeling it. I had taken a journal and drew as I prayed {no judgement- this is how I do prayer}. I ended up writing "Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant". I saw that a lot today.<br />
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In the story the master gives his 3 servants talents. The first servant gets 5 talents, the second servant gets 2 and the last servant gets one. The first servant goes out and trades with his talents and gets 5 more. The second servant goes out and makes 2 more. The last servant, in fear of making his master angry, buries his. The master calls them to him to see what they did with what he gave them. He praises the first 2 and says, "Well done my good and faithful servants. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your masters joy" To the 3rd servant he says, "For to everyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich; but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away." He then threw the servant out into the darkness.<br />
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Today I thought of this parable and took some time to reflect on it.. We come into this world with all of the gifts God has bestowed on us. When we leave he expects to ask us what we did with those gifts. Did we use those gifts to gather more riches for our master? Did we bury them away, to return them unused to the master? If you are given faith and use it, you will receive goodness in return. If you are given faith and do not use it, everything will be taken away.<br />
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I think about Ann's post on Paul being victorious- even in death. There is no losing for a man of faith. When you live a life of faith like Paul, you are blessed and lifted up in prayer. You are taken care of and so is your family. You are also called to share that faith and return it to your master doubled. I believe you do that by sharing it in everything you do. Encouraging those around you to live it. You do that using the talents God gave you. God gave Paul fearlessness, kindness, joy, courage. He used every one of those and wore his faith like a superhero cape.<br />
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Paul definitely changed my life and the life of my family. I have learned that laughing does a person good. Laughing at yourself is sometimes the greatest joy you can have. I have learned that if you look at a tree and say, "that looks like it would be fun to climb", you climb it. I have learned if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all and challenge yourself to lift that person up. I have learned that when God gives you crosses, you carry them fearlessly and you never, ever give up. I have learned that all of us are one day going to die, we are called to do so faithfully and courageously. Most of all I have learned that having gifts from God are useless if you are not going to use them to inspire others.<br />
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There will be a lot of talk on the lack of miracles and the "see, praying does no good." But you have to use the faith God gave you to see beyond the disappointment of prayers, seemingly, unheard. Look to the miracles God has granted Paul and his family through the millions of prayers he received. Prayers he received because he gave out his faith like candy. Look at the way, God has used Paul to change something inside of yourself. <br />
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Look at the thousands of people who are following Paul's story and are changed for the better. They are inspired by the love shared between a husband and wife. They are encouraged by Paul's refusal to stop trying to live every moment he is able. They are inspired by how his community of friends is rallying to rebuild his home. They are in awe of his faith, even at the hour of his death. Most of all people are seeing and believing in the victory of his death. Today he dies victorious and returns to the master with arms full of the blessings he gave during his life. This is not the tragic story of a husband and father who died from aggressive cancer. It's not the end of a life, its the beginning of a beautiful story of faith. It is a story of a Good and Faithful Servant returning home victoriously. Well done, Paul, well done.<br />
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Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-39123905528016861702015-01-19T13:00:00.001-08:002015-01-19T13:01:36.179-08:00Power of Prayer and NEVER Giving UpLast night all I did was pray and check Facebook like a stalker for word on Paul. I was so scared to fall asleep because I didn't want to wake up and read that he had died. Well, guess what dear readers? He is still alive and kicking, only through the ever present grace and mercy of my God. He is not giving up and is STILL fighting. In that beautiful moment of survival, I believed in the power of prayer.<br />
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I am a cradle Catholic. Every Sunday I went to mass with my family. We prayed the obligatory rosary as a family. We fasted, we confessed, we read the bible. Statues adorned our home, our entryway had a holy water font and rosaries were in a jar in the kitchen. We had the creepy Jesus picture that seemed to watch you anywhere you walked. As a family we learned to pray in times of need and promised to pray for all those suffering. This was part of who I am today. Those Catholic traditions and customs are now in my own family. But, something changed for me yesterday.<br />
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I came home from mass and felt the need to finally write that blog about Paul. Before I wrote it, I prayed to the Holy Spirit to give me the words to make everyone see how amazing him and his family are. I watched the views grow and couldn't believe how many people read it. In a matter of hours 2000 people had read that blog. I have only had on average 40 views on anything I had written. It was about Paul and people who love him. People who are praying and not giving up.<br />
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Last night I found myself looking over the Team Paul and Ann Coakley page and could not believe that over 4000 people have liked this page. I looked through the photos of people ALL AROUND THE WORLD who stopped for a few moments of their day to post a photo of solidarity. I knew that each person had taken the time to pray for Paul. No one was giving up. For a few moments I allowed myself to believe that a miracle could still happen. It's not impossible. <br />
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So I hit my knees and I prayed. I prayed really hard. I prayed a prayer for peace. If it was God's will, a peaceful passing for Paul. Peace for the many people who loved him and will be left behind. Peace for his sweet wife as she endures the hardest fight of her life. Peace for his children now and throughout their lives. Most of all I prayed that God would give a miracle to Paul and his family. I prayed that Paul would not give up. The world still needs that beautiful smile.<br />
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Today I received the update that Paul is still actively fighting for every moment of his life. The doctors are shocked by his strength and the way he is not giving up. He is far from out of the woods, but the hospital and his family are allowing him to fight. I am so proud of Paul and Ann because fighting takes true courage. Facing down your greatest fears with an attitude of defiance is something that is absolutely inspirational. As I watched those numbers climb with people ALL OVER THE WORLD following our friends and praying with all of their hearts for peace, was unbelievable. No one has stopped believing in the power of prayer or miracles. Least of all Paul.<br />
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I was thinking of all of this as I went to grab some groceries. As I went to pay for my purchases I found a copy of the most recent People Magazine.<br />
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After I saw the cover, I offered up a prayer of Thanksgiving that Paul had not given up and that he continues still to believe in the power of prayer. He desires and asks for a miracle through the intercession of Margaret Costello. I offered a prayer of Thanksgiving for his wife, who is allowing him the right to fight even though, I can only imagine how that must be ripping her apart. His family who are standing by Paul and encouraging him even though the prognosis leaves much to be desired. I thanked God for using Paul as inspiration to get 4000 humans praying for hope. <br />
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I then prayed a prayer for Brittany and so many like her who fear the possibility of pain and question the power of prayer. I prayed for her husband who lost hope in miracles and assisted his wife in ending her life. I prayed for all of the people who stand in solidarity with Brittany and mourn that they have never experienced a fighter like Paul. I was really sad that they gave up and waved a white flag in surrender. Life is precious and we should fight every day, just like Paul, to live it fiercely and never give up.<br />
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I know Paul may not make it. But, that doesn't mean a miracle is not, even as we speak, taking place. People are praying. Hearts are changing. Prayer changes everything. It gives hope to the hopeless. Offers faith to those who don't believe in things unseen. It encourages those who are experiencing spiritual drought. So as we lift up Paul in prayer, so too are we lifting ourselves. His story is becoming ours and changing our outlook on life everyday. We are watching the suffering of a beautiful soul who refuses to give up and continues to fight for every breath of the body God loaned him. We are thanking God that he is still here fighting and we are praying still... ever hopeful for a miracle and ever faithful to God's will.<br />
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You see, today prayer changed for me. Prayer became a thing that is alive and powerful. To pray is to truly believe in what you are asking and with humility, accepting the answer God has for you. Praying is about NOT giving up and putting all your worries at the foot of the cross. Praying as a collective, raising your voice in community, begging God to bring healing and peace... this is powerful stuff. This is miraculous. Prayers can be answered in unexpected ways, and you may find that as you pray for someone else, you are helping to change yourself. As Paul begins his next round of Chemo, pray like crazy. Know that we are lifting up Pual but we are also being lifted up by Paul. We are all fighting for Paul and he is fighting for his life. And most, of all, WE ARE NOT GIVING UP!<br />
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<strong># PRAYFORPAUL</strong></div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/paulandanncoakleyneedamiracle">https://www.facebook.com/paulandanncoakleyneedamiracle</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/paul-and-ann-coakley-need-our-help-/283582">http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/paul-and-ann-coakley-need-our-help-/283582</a></div>
Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-76202865195469175212015-01-18T12:35:00.000-08:002015-01-18T17:06:06.265-08:00"Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People?"My heart has been so heavy lately as I watch our friend Paul's health failing. For those of you who don't know the story, Paul was diagnosed just before Christmas with testicular cancer. The cancer has spread to his lungs and his brain. They found a hole in his heart and a very dangerous blood clot. He has been in the hospital for weeks... teetering between life and death. He is 34, married to the most lovely lady Ann and is expecting their 4th baby in April. Last night, he almost didn't make it. When I told my kids about Paul's condition, my oldest daughter Emma, broke down sobbing. She asked the question I have asked myself time and time again. "Why do bad things happen to good people?"<br />
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Paul is not just a good person. He is truly a saint. In my life I have known only 3 people I put in this category. For those that are not Catholic, a saint is someone who lives a virtuous life and positively impacts the lives of others. Saints go straight to heaven. They pass go, they collect $200 and no questions are asked. Paul fits this category because since I have known him, he has inspired every person to become closer to God. He doesn't seem to try to. He just does. With no judgment or righteousness, he finds some way to shine that light of Christ directly into your eyeballs. Like an annoying camper playing flashlight tag. You can't escape it. Even after you are blinded, that light stays with you. <br />
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Paul lives his life out loud and has always done these crazy, spur of the moment, carpe diem things that us regular ol scaredy cats can only dream of. Some of you Paul people have got to accompany him on this journeys. I am jealous. I always watched from a distance, in awe and in admiration. In these adventures, God is always present. He has taken God along for the ride and we have all seen that. His life is his testament to his faith in God. That faith has permeated every relationship he has ever had. We have been lucky enough to witness that and it has a lot of us talking, praying and spreading the word about who Paul is. Strangers are inspired to follow his journey, share the joy of his life and pray for a miracle.<br />
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My sister went to a Catholic college and developed strong friendships with all sorts of crazy Catholics. It would drive me insane because I am selfish. I never wanted these "friends" to come into my family and take up my precious time. My sister loved them. I feared she loved them more than me. But, then I met Paul. He was her first friend that didn't piss me off {sorry Steubie friends}. He made me laugh and made me feel comfortable hanging with them. I think he also kind of understood my weirdo obsession with my family... and forgave me for it. He has a way of making every person feel understood and loved. <br />
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When I had Shawnie, every family member came to the hospital to visit... Paul came too. He came in and acted a fool. Making everyone laugh by blowing up a hospital glove to make Shawnie a chicken. He then proceeded to peck my infant son with the balloon. If anyone else had done that, I would have killed them. But, it was Paul. At Thanksgiving one year, Paul took one of my mom's china plates {the same plates we had to HANDWASH because they were so "fragile and precious"} and in front of the whole family, busted that plate over his head. If any of us had done that, my mom would have kicked our bootie. But, it was Paul. Different rules apply to different people. Paul was always the exception to the rule.<br />
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All of us have these Paul stories. How he came into our lives, why he is so important and so deserving of a miracle. But my favorite and most inspiring Paul story is his son Christian. Paul and Ann wanted children so badly and waited so long for God to bless them. One day God put together Paul and Ann with a little boy named Christian. Christian was an unexpected miracle. I got to meet him when they brought him to Michigan for the first time. I was amazed by the love they had for this kiddo. They were protective, loving, kind and such good parents. I can't tell Christians story, because I don't know all the details, but I know that God gave them a son in the most unexpected way and they said YES with faith, hope and love. Their example and advice, gave Shawn and I courage to say YES in a very similar way. Without Paul and Ann's example, we may not have had the faith to adopt our Keegan. Their yes inspired our yes and allowed us to not run in fear but accept, with faith, a gift God had unexpectedly sent our way. This is living your faith out loud. This is making a difference.<br />
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As Paul is battling for his life, we are all left asking the question "why do bad things happen to good people?". I think it is so that we can reflect on the precious gift of life that none of us are guaranteed. Every day is a miracle and a gift. We are called to live our lives OUT LOUD, with passion, love and faith... every day, no excuses. I don't know why this is happening but watching the numbers grow on Paul's facebook page and seeing photos of people just like me, who have encountered the light of Paul... it's life changing. It speaks to the power of prayer and the belief in everyday miracles. It tells a story of courage and how one person can change so many lives without even trying. It shows the generosity of strangers who want to help a deserving man and his family. Paul is again inspiring others to become closer to God through his fight with cancer and his incredible faith. <br />
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No one is ready to say goodbye to such a beautiful gift and it makes us all so sad. God blessed all of us with the light that is Paul and right now I am breathing that in. I am thanking God for allowing me the moments I had, the life changing and inspiring moments. I didn't deserve them. I wasn't always thankful for them but now I am so happy that I had them. Keep those prayers coming. Pray, that if its Gods will, Paul will get his miracle and we will have more time to enjoy and savor those moments... moments we took for granted. The most important lesson I have learned is, when the strong fall, the weak rally, to pick them up and carry them home. If Paul is headed home, he is going home being carried by thousands of people, just like me, who have been changed for the better.<br />
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Here is Paul's Facebook Page.. Go and Be Inspired... <a href="https://www.facebook.com/paulandanncoakleyneedamiracle">https://www.facebook.com/paulandanncoakleyneedamiracle</a><br />
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Some Photos of #prayforpaul campaign. Share and post your own photos. <br />
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Paul's Beautiful Family</div>
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That is a great picture of paul! Make this your profile picture on facebook!</div>
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Kiley being a Mountain Climber a la Paul</div>
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Mid Air Superman flight </div>
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Just hanging around and praying</div>
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Hey there's a tree! I can climb it like Paul would!</div>
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Peek a boo- I am praying for you too!</div>
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Awesome photo bomb</div>
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Barb wire? Fence? Illegal Trespassing? Never stopped Paul...</div>
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{Stole from my sissy} The infamous plate incident. Best Thanksgiving ever!</div>
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<br />Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-61937014662291110252015-01-04T11:33:00.000-08:002015-01-18T18:46:18.824-08:00A Look Back at 2014Whew! It has been a LONG time since I wrote anything. I am back on New Years Day for a little look at my year. Of course I will do it with a rant, a rave and reflection.<br />
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<strong><u>Rant:</u></strong></div>
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If I am honest, 2014 was full of negativity for me and from me. I have really sat back and tried to take an honest accounting of my highs and lows. All of my highs were due to the amazing people my children are turning into and the things my husband has accomplished. Most of my lows were things I had failed at. This is not to be a whiny blogger... just an honest rant on how I have been walking through my life for the past year. <br />
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I love that my highs were about my kids and my incredible husband. These really made me happy to reflect on. My kids did unbelievable things this year. Shawnie joined a band, became class president and was nominated for a leadership scholarship. He has raised his grades and will start a month long internship at the UK radio station this January. Emma concurred her fears and sang at Common Grounds. Not only did she sing... she literally silenced a room full of jaded college hipsters. Her confidence and talent literally brought me to tears. This year we became friends. We are still mother and daughter but we are starting to create this beautiful relationship that will only grow with time. Kiley Grace was a freaking star this year! She surprised us by stealing the school play, joining her school choir and getting a part in a REAL play. She is known for her dramatics but seeing her literally lit up from the inside out was a real treat for this mama. Keegan has finally started to figure out this school thing. Although we still struggle {keepin it real} in very serious ways, school is starting to quiet down. His teachers are beginning to see the little kid that stole my heart 3 years ago. I also learned this year that the ways he shows his struggle is actual confirmation that we are securely bonded and he trusts me. This is HUGE! Dylan is a hot mess who graduated preschool, began to read and I am happy to report, is still obsessed with me. <br />
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My husband has taken off in the comedy world and has certainly earned the nickname "Robin Hood of Comedy". His Stand Up for KY reminds me, with every show and every person helped by his kindness, why I fell in love with him. He has hit some really important goals on his comedy journey. He has found his passion and is putting it into practice daily.<br />
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All of these things are awesome. I even acknowledge that I am part of the reason so many of these awesome things happened. But, I am ranting because I haven't had any awesome accomplishments myself this year. I have really sat back and tried to take an honest accounting of my highs and lows. All of my highs were due to the amazing people my children are turning into and the things my husband has accomplished. Most of my lows were things I had failed at. This is not to be a whiny blogger... just an honest rant on how I have been walking through my life for the past year. <br />
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I am becoming that mom. You know the one. She is always running around, looking like a hot mess, with a list of a million things she needs to get done. She is yelling at her brood of kids and throwing them some fast food as they race to the next destination. She means well but never has the time she needs to get everything done. This year I am really vowing to make sure that some of my highs are things I have accomplished for myself. <br />
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<strong><u>Rave:</u></strong></div>
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I am going to rave about 2 gifts we got for Christmas that I think everyone needs to get. This Christmas we got the "Christmas Dog". The kids and I have begged the old husband for years to allow our dreams to come true. He finally conceded and after searching all rescue places high and low, we finally found our new family member with a breeder {no judgement, read footnote}. Having a dog has been ALOT more work than I could ever have imagined. But, it has also been life changing. One of the big reasons we wanted a dog was for our Keegan. Keegan has needed some wins and we knew that a puppy would give him some responsibility and some positive praise that he needed. He has loved Rosie and she has already done her job in teaching him empathy and unconditional love. Rosie has brought some peace to our chaotic house. Right now as I type this blog, Rosie is curled up next to me. There is nothing more comforting than a warm puppy, who loves you unconditionally. Our favorite Beatle lyric is "All you need is LOVE"... Rosie has given that to each one of us. Everyone should have a dog. EVERYONE.<br />
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We also splurged and gave Shawnie a digital piano for Christmas. We have always been huge proponents of music in our house. Every child has learned any and all instruments of their choosing. We have supported this with no question. Currently, we have a drum, a violin, a keyboard, an acoustic, electric and bass guitar, harmonica, a trombone and now a digital piano. It has been one of, if not the best, gift we have given our family. Here is why this is the best gift ever. For the last week, we have watched approximately 5 hours of TV. Shawnie has been playing the piano non stop and getting everyone involved in it. Emma has sang duets with Shawnie and her dad. They have written original songs and this howling mom has also sang a ditty or two. It has made us all more creative, more happy and definitely more engaged. Music has always done this. But, now we are bringing and keeping the gift of music in our family room. It is a huge blessing to unplug and connect. Music has and will always do that for people. Everyone should create music in their homes. EVERYONE.<br />
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*Footnote: Our experience with Rescues was not totally awesome. We found most workers more interested in saving the dogs versus making sure the dog was put in the right house. Because we have an adopted son, we could not take ANY risks with getting the "wrong" dog and returning the new family member. On top of that, all available dogs were large breeds. We do not have a big yard and we have a relatively small home. Not ideal for anyone. We also travel a lot and a small dog can go with us {remember, we have to fit 7 people and a dog into a mini van} Rescues are amazing and one day we may rescue, but for our first dog we decided, for all of these reasons, to go with a breeder. Now, you can judge.<br />
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<strong><u>Reflection:</u></strong> </div>
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With the new year upon us, I am left to reflect on the highs and lows. I am deciding to create a very doable list of things I will accomplish for me this year. I do this every year. As I am sure you all do too. This year my list will be short and will have little fanfare or explanation. But, hopefully this list will help me find a little bit more of who I am . I want to learn how to define myself without using my kids and husband as my only identity. I will work really hard on doing these. Maybe I will share my efforts, failures and successes. But, if I don't just know I am working on them. I sincerely hope that for those of you who are making your own list, you will work on creating a doable list that will help you define better, who you are, what you love and the talents that God gave you. We shouldn't waste these talents and our time on earth should go towards finding ways to use these talents everyday, with everyone, no excuses. </div>
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<strong><u>My 2015 List</u></strong></div>
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1. Keep a prayer journal that I write in almost every night {leaving room for exhaustion}</div>
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2. Go to the gym 3 days per week</div>
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3. Be more creative and do Creativity Sundays with Theresa</div>
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4. Keep my Wine nights every month</div>
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5. Spend a day to myself and ONLY for myself. One day of out and out selfishness.</div>
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6. Be gentle to myself</div>
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Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-46622031042737198872014-08-20T11:02:00.001-07:002014-08-20T11:02:27.580-07:0015 Years and Still Counting...I am writing this on the eve of my 15th wedding anniversary. This may just seem like an ordinary milestone but for me it is so much more. 15 years ago we were surrounded by so many people who thought we would never make it past the first year. Many of our family and friends were pretty outspoken on all the reasons we shouldn't get married and all of the ways our marriage would fail. We had haters before haters was even a word. <br />
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We had a lot of things going against us. We were starting off our married life with a baby boy on the way. We literally got married and became parents 22 days later. Shawn was in school and worked full time. I was in school and worked full time. We had very little money and already had stupid, frivolous debt. I had never lived on my own and knew nothing about paying bills or taking care of myself. Shawn had lived on his own for the year we were dating but I can safely say that he was a work in progress. We had nothing... except ferocious amounts of love, faith and courage.<br />
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15 years later I can still say that those 3 virtues continue to lead us. We love unconditionally. This has been tested through the years. We have had to work on loving each other, even when it seemed so hard. But, true love does not have an ending. You have to work selflessly on loving someone, at times, even more than you love yourself. You have to keep that promise to love each other... NO MATTER WHAT. And, guess what I have learned in 15 years... it is hard. It is soul aching, heart wrenching effort to do that on some days. But you commit to it and you keep that promise. <br />
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You have to challenge yourself daily to reflect on the person you are walking life with. How have they changed you? How do they make you a better person? By asking these questions, your love continues to grow. Shawn has loved me more than he should with no regard for anything else<br />
He has never given up on me or our marriage. He is the hardest working man I know with no depths to his integrity and character. It makes me stronger in my own character. And most importantly, he is the best father that has ever walked this earth- he gives my children wings and confidence. He has created in them a drive to make every one of their dreams come true. He is their soft place to fall and motivates them to be better than they ever could have imagined being. I know God gave me shawn to make me stronger, kinder and lighter. He is the reason I get up and begin again every day. Those reasons help me daily to love unconditionally.<br />
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We have continued to have faith in each other. Again, this is a pretty tough thing. For me- a stubborn, independent Buckley girl- I never realized how difficult having faith in someone other than myself could be. I have learned that having faith in your partner, even in your toughest trials, will help you come out of the other end. The struggles are a little less difficult when you have faith in the person you share your life with. I know without a doubt that Shawn has my back. He is my protector, my confidante and my backbone. <br />
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Faith in each other is great but faith in God is even better. There have been times in the last 15 years where we didn't know what our future would hold. We had to put our faith in God that he would show us the way. Through job changes, personal struggles, multiple kiddos, moves and an adoption you have to keep your eye on the prize. The goal has always been for me, to get to heaven together. That has meant making tough decisions and calling on God when times were hard. I have reminded Shawn of that on his worst days and I know he has reminded me. Those tests are what creates the strong foundation for your marriage. It solidifies the rock in your relationship, and for me, it has been and always will be God.<br />
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Lastly, we have had to have courage. In todays wonderful age of self promotion and the "numero uno" mentality, we have been surrounded by people who are vastly different than us. We have had to walk together with courage that we are right and the rest of the world is wrong. This started when we were married and continues, even today. We have made some unpopular decisions that other families have judged us for. Just look at the size of our beautiful family. Don't think that we haven't had to have extraordinary amounts of courage to walk that path against the norm. That courage we had 15 years ago still continues to help us walk the path regardless of who is following. <br />
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I am a relatively big God person and don't find a lot of coincidences. I believe most of my life has been guided by His loving hand. Meeting Shawn was just another divine stop on my life adventure. Shawn was the boy who I was meant to walk this earth with. The one who was meant to be the father of my children. The one with whom I was destined to change the world. He is the exact balance to who I am. He is the calm to my storm. He is the safety belts to my roller coaster. I am the architect and he is the builder of my dreams. <br />
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After 15 years I know for sure that I could not have become the person I am with out him. He has made me a better person. It is my hope that after 15 years he can say the same.<br />
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Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-35027219439351817332014-08-10T13:00:00.000-07:002014-08-10T13:00:22.659-07:00Sage Lake Reminiscing Part One<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
We have just arrived back from our annual trip to Sage Lake in Hale, Michigan. I wanted to write all week and lose myself in storytelling but alas, that did not happen. However, as we have settled back into the routine of daily life I have found myself feeling very melancholy about the blessing we have received.</div>
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My Uncle Dan and Aunt Bev purchased a small cottage in Hale Michigan about 20 years ago. No one could ever have anticipated how that small little cottage would bring our families together. After many renovations and lots of investment, the small cottage home became a massive house to hold all of our families. Through the years my dads side of the family would gather every Labor Day and 4th of July to boat, swim, laugh and bond. It was a place where we were able to gather and be thankful of the blessing of our extended family. As families expanded, we slowly started losing the connection to the cottage. For Shawn and I it was nearly impossible to come from Kentucky with little babies for a weekend of fun in the sun. We missed all of these times and it made me feel really bad about having my children not experience that amazing family time that I grew up with and took for granted. </div>
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About 4 years ago, my Uncle Dan and Aunt Bev had an opportunity to sell their cottage and the burden that comes with upkeep from a cottage home used only a handful of times. So many of the extended family had families of their own and it was really clear that the Bountiful Buckleys had outgrown coming together under one roof. However, instead of selling their home, they made the incredibly, unbelievable decision to keep the house and divide the summer weeks for each Buckley family. Each family had 2 weeks to enjoy the cottage and boat with their growing families. To this day, I can not fathom the generosity of this gift. I believe that my Uncle Dan and Aunt Bev will never understand the gift they gave to our family.</div>
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For starters, the cottage has provided my brothers and sisters to have a home to create memories for our children. Let's be honest... where else could we find a home that could accommodate 6 families with 27 children between them? We are spread throughout the United States and the lucklihood of us being able to get together annually would have been slim to none. Getting our families together, gives us siblings time to get to know each other again. For our spouses to get to know all of us better. To have some uninterrupted adult time while the kids lose themselves in kick the can or swimming in the lake. </div>
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Its not just the connection of my siblings and I, it is this moments of relationship building that happens with our children. This summer I watched a true friendship blossom between Shawn and Emma. It reminded me so much of the amazing relationship I had with my own big brother growing up {I went to prom with him Junior AND Senior year!}. That relationship was one of the most important ones during my high school years. It kept me out of trouble and safe while I was dabbling in trouble :) </div>
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Kiley and her Dad developed a closer Dad/Daughter relationship. They have always had a magic bond since birth but this year I got to see it, up close and personal. The secret glances and quiet talks. The little pick me ups that he can give and that change her whole outlook on life. As I stood back and watched this, I thought of my Dad and I. He is still my biggest cheerleader and the one person I go to in all times of trouble for wisdom, guidance and unconditional love. </div>
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Dylan and Keegan were inseperable and this year I found myself laughing hysterically, as they came up with all sorts of ways to make the lake their own. Hillbilly handfishing and trying to catch little minnows had me rolling! Concocting games that involved throwing rocks, tying up toys and finding little treasures. This reminded me of the games my sister and I would play growing up. We were forever making up stories, games and activities that kept us busy for hours.</div>
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But, its not just our children. It is the relationships that are forming between cousins, Aunts and Uncles. Growing up I had the best relationships with my cousins- on my moms and dads side. I would challenge ANYONE to tell me that you had it better. The memories I have of connecting with my cousins are some of the best memories in my childhood. There was a time I thought I had lost that for my children. I really had a lot of guilt over that. The cottage has given us all an opportunity to create a place for the cousins to play, get to know each other and create lifelong bonds. These bonds will give them a confidence and security most kids are never privy to. </div>
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The relationships they are building with their aunts and uncles are giving them countless cheerleaders and role models for their futures. To this day, my Aunts and Uncles are my heroes... because I knew them and looked up to them. I was provided countless opportunities to spend time in their prescence. My uncles threatened every boyfriend I brought around and my Aunts showed me the value of true sisterhood. I knew, and still know, I can count on any one of them to have my back any time, day or night. Because of the "Cottage Gift" my kids are learning this as well.</div>
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For the next few days I intend to write on some of the highlights from our trip. I am doing so with the hopes that some of these moments will explain the magnitude of such an amazing, undeserved gift of love that has been and will continue being life changing for my kiddos. It is a blessing that I can only repay through the building of the family bonds that we are able to focus on for one magical week every summer in Hale Michigan.</div>
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One of their crazy made up games</div>
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Shawnie and Emma bonding at the Lake</div>
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Daddy and his little girl</div>
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Cowabunga dude!</div>
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Sassy Olders experiencing independence on the Lake</div>
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Daddy and his boys</div>
Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-29098637508351507972014-07-21T20:13:00.000-07:002014-07-21T20:13:23.101-07:00Congratulations ... You Raised a Big JerkDear Moms and Dads of the United States of America,<br />
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Congratulations on the destruction of the world. You have finally done the unthinkable. You have succeeded in changing the path of our future and you have steered this titanic right into the giant iceberg. Let me explain...<br />
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It is totally bizarre to me as I continue working in the field of Early Childhood Education that not one person carrying their PhD's and pedigrees like mighty sabers, have put two and two together. We are raising some of the most violent, uneducated, spoiled, weak, entitled brats that have ever walked the face of the world. We are blaming this on video games, violent movies, the internet, too much self esteem, not enough self esteem, guns, overmedication, preservatives, sugar, overdiagnosis, pollution, not spanking, too much spanking, not enough pay at our jobs, single moms, dead beat dads... you name it, we blame it. We have a reason for every bad thing that happens to our children. Oddly, the reason is NEVER the parents. Not one PhD, to my knowledge, has ever suggested that perhaps the parents are to blame. <br />
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No, instead we protect the parents. We do this for a million reasons. If we blame the parents we have to start looking at who they are. I think we would be stopped in our tracks as we slowly began to recognize ourselves. We would be forced to look at the real issues that we have been too scared to take head on. We would have to examine closely some of these issues I am going to take to task today. <br />
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We hold teachers responsible for the fact that our children are dumb and are acting up. We blame the school when our kids are misbehaving and they "can't do their job". We can't come and get them when they misbehave or there needs to be a discussion on the fact that Bobby failed another geometry quiz or we may lose our job. Our sweet precious job that doesn't benefit us as much as we are taught to see that it does. <br />
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We could do without our jobs, if we really tried. We could cut our family budgets and make it work. We could drop our cable, cut off our cell phones, stop drinking those damn coffees. We don't want to because we like things. We like to get stupid drunk on materials. We love our fancy phones where we can post about our crappy teachers on facebook while chatting with our girlfriends about the latest episode of Housewives as we drink a Venti Triple Soy Caramel Machiatto. So, we don't pick up our kid that is chucking chairs in his classroom and failing math because "I have got a job and I can't afford to lose it!" No, crazy person... you can't afford to lose your child in the chaos you are creating.<br />
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We make that choice to be complacent in our choices because we believe the teachers will have to figure it out. Weird though, they don't care either. They don't care because they have their own child acting out in preschool... biting their friends and kicking their teachers. They don't have time to figure out your child because they are trying to eek out time for their own little patch of green grass. Plus, you kind of taught them how to treat your child... with laziness, contempt and indifference. <br />
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Your kid makes it through the day after spending 6 hours sitting in a chair in a box like room, filling in dittos and waiting for that glorious 15 min recess. They are then ushered into the afterschool room filled with kids desperately waiting for their parents to come and save them. The afterschool teachers fill up your child's time with Level 0! Homework Table! Math Station! Your child waits again for that glorious 15 min recess. <br />
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All the while you are racing like a hamster on a neverending spinning wheel to finish up your last worthless email that you have convinced yourself will change the world. In essence no change will occur... its just an email sent from a worker bee. You will jump in your car and begin the race to the school. You will check your email for other Earth shattering memos and maybe check out Facebook for validation. You will do this as you drive because you don't have time to pull over and take 5 minutes to do this. You will return phone calls and talk until you reach the school parking lot. <br />
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When you pick up your "Gift from God" "Blessing From Above" you barely look at them. You are focused on what you are making for dinner and if your lazy spouse remembered to pick up the milk like you asked him. Your child will be begging for your attention. Looking for any morsel of affection or loving touch. You will rush them to the car and gruffly tell them to "Get In". If you are in an exceptional mood you will grace your everything with a "How was your day?" You will ask for some detail but your mind wanders back to dinner. <br />
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By the time you get home, you are exhausted. You have to make dinner, pay a bill, check homework, make sure baths are done, do the dishes, flip the laundry and then maybe, make it up to your childs bed for a sweet goodnight kiss and hug. While you are busy doing your thang your child has been vegging in front of the boob tube or playing video games. You will spend the rest of your evening catching up on reality TV and chastising yourself for how little time you spent with your child. If you are like me you will make promises to yourself to be better tomorrow... that is the only thought that makes you feel better enough to be able to fall asleep.<br />
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Meanwhile, your child is a hot mess. They have had very little physical contact from any loving adult in their life. They have been ignored, judged, chastised and bored all day. They have waited to hear some lovely things about who they are. They are still waiting. Your child has filled their precious brains with worthless nonsense from the TV and violent images from their video games. They are going to bed trying to make themselves feel excited about doing it all over again tomorrow. <br />
Can you even imagine that reality?<br />
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And yet, we scratch our heads and ask ourselves how our children and young adults have become so violent. We dare to ask how this could happen in a world that has so many "things". We ignore the fact that since the dawn of ages, "Things" have never mattered. It is the physical touch and presence of our mothers. The encouragement and sage wisdom of our fathers. The support and love from our extended family. The loyalty and comraderie of our neighborhood. These things take time to foster and nurture. Time that we do not have. Time that we are choosing to give to people, places and things that don't matter and never have. We are so busy saving the world for others that our own little world is crumbling under the weight of our self placed responsibilities. <br />
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Mothers work more than they ever have. I am a full time working mom of 5 kids. I am honest enough to say... something has to give. You can't be everything to everyone and give 100% to it all. It is impossible. The effort is there. The hard work and drive is there. It doesn't matter, something has to give. Most of the time it is our children that suffer. <br />
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The kids who crave parental attention so much that they destroy their classrooms. The children who stay at day care even when they are sick and their moms are at home for a day of rest. The kiddos who fail at school because they do not have help at home... she's too tired from working all day. The child who is bouncing around the room and can't focus because they ate crap for breakfast and have been raised on video games that are changing scenes a mile per minute. The child that is so full of anger at his situation but never goes outside to burn off the steam because its 6pm when they get home. <br />
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And, we dare to ask ourselves... why are they so angry? Why are they not passing their classes? Why do they have no respect for adults? Why are so many kids exhibiting signs of ADD/ADHD? Why are kids detached and sensory deprived? Why is autism on the rise? Why are young adults shooting people? Why are they so angry?<br />
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I really hope people wake up. I really hope those prissy PhD's will get this passed across their computer screens and think long enough to consider the possibility that the absence of mothers is hugely detrimental. It is the iceberg to our Titanic. If someone speaks up, perhaps we can steer the ship in a new direction. Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-33511110232881192152014-07-21T19:32:00.002-07:002014-07-21T19:32:41.178-07:00Today I Am Sad... So, today my friend finished her abortion. My friend is such a lovely person. She is someone I respect, admire and love. Still do. But, today she completed an abortion and it hurts my heart. <br />
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As a mommy of 5 kids, one of whom is adopted, I struggle knowing that abortion exists. I struggle because so many women wait, for years, with the hope that one day they can become moms. The coveted title revered for only the most fertile ladies of the land. It's even more surprising that the number of people waiting patiently for a little one to love is the exact same number of abortions that occur every year. Let that irony sink in. <br />
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Abortion has followed me my whole life and has been one of those issues that I almost can't even discuss with humility, patience or kindness. It literally boggles my mind why it exists and it hurts my soul to think of the millions of little people that are murdered every year out of necessity to continue a self centered existence that our society admires and sells us. <br />
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Society is a great pimp. One of the best. It packages abortion as a shiny solution to that dead beat dad that disrespects your body and uses you like a toy. It is gloriously convenient and anonymous. Like ordering a stripper off the internet... no strings, a quick exchange of cash and a simple procedure with very little physical after effects. It sells the efficiency of the sterile procedure while quietly pushing aside the true definition of what is happening. <br />
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Society has given you glossy little doctors with paper diplomas to tell you on TV how easy it is to rid yourself of a life changing mistake. Dr. Laura talks about sex as if it is a game with winners and losers. She gives you pointers on how to use the morning after pill, completely eliminating the human aspect of this decision to end life. IT IS A PILL THAT ENDS A LIFE THAT HAS JUST TAKEN ROOT. Dr. Drew is a bit more fancy and uses bigger words and more condescension to help these poor souls with an inability to develop self control. He has even wrapped up this mindless cluster &*%@ by giving you a convenient website to find places where you can get unprescribed, over the counter abortion pills to get rid of the one night mistake that one day could be a little world changer. He absolves you from any responsibility and commends your decision to live your life. He conveniently and intelligently dismisses your baby with medical, sterile terms so that you see this tiny peanut as a weird, ugly tadpole with no human features. <br />
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The best bit of propaganda was given to my friend today and because I love her so much, I can't yet correct it. But, I will for my readers today. She was 6 1/2 weeks pregnant and went in for "the procedure" {God forbid we call it like it is}. When she got there, the "doctors" made the decision that she would not have to have the "surgical procedure", instead she would be given a pill. This pill would dislodge the baby, effectively removing all sustaining life from him/her. She would then take another pill 48 hours later to create a "miscarriage". Let's sit with that for a minute. A "miscarriage".<br />
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It is a grievous insult to every woman who has suffered a miscarriage to label an ABORTION as a miscarriage. At no point in the procedure is her body betraying her naturally. At no point is she losing a child that was wanted and loved from the start. At no point is her body destroying a non viable baby. She is taking a pill to rid herself of a healthy baby that her body, with the help of a loser sperm donor, created. This is CLEARLY not a miscarriage. It is a voluntary termination of life. It is a decision made by the mother and helped by prescription drug dealers to dissolve a life that was created. This is NOT a miscarriage. <br />
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I was shocked that society has again trumped intelligence and sold women this load of bull. It is just one more way this pimp has desensitized us to our actions. If we call it a zygote, its not a baby. If we put an abortion in a pill, its not an abortion. If we take the morning after pill, we are only destroying cells. If we call it a miscarriage, it is not an abortion. Abortion clinics and their medical "professionals" again and again treat women as dumb little whores who know no better. We put up with it. We stand behind their convenient slogan "My body, my choice" yet we are fed lies by the powers that be. We slop it up so we can continue our selfish existence.... living only for ourselves with no true consequences for our actions and once again absolving every male of any accountability or responsibility.<br />
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I am opinionated because I have been there. I have experienced the struggle. My oldest son was conceived while I was 19 and dating my husband. I am Irish Catholic. I was always told not to come home if I was pregnant. I had every reason to abort my son. I was 19 and could sign my own consent. I had a job and could easily pay the fee for the procedure. No one would know. My scarlet letter "mistake" would be easily erased...he was only a zygote they told me. He had no face, no hands, no feet, no genitalae... he kind of looked like a creepy seahorse. Society had me by the balls. It kind of made sense.<br />
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But, I did not have an abortion. I sucked it up, accepted responsibility and carried my little boy for 9 months. I was ridiculed, treated badly by family and strangers. I worked 40 plus hours while pregnant in preparation for his birth. I was not given a baby shower by my mom. I had to wait until he was born because the shame of it would have destroyed my parents. My dad hated my fiancé and could barely talk to me during this time. I had family members counseling me on giving my baby up for adoption so my life wouldn't be ruined. I was surrounded by haters. I was married at 9 months pregnant and was as big as a house and hideous on the most anticipated day of my life. <br />
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It wasn't easy. But, 9 months later, I held my baby boy and knew I made the right choice. I never regretted it. The days I felt him move were little reminders of what I was choosing. I won't lie, I had an amazing fiancé/husband who reminded me daily that this was not a tragedy. A man that took responsibility and worked overtime hours, found another job with better insurance and got us a little apartment. That made it easier. Although I felt alone, I had him and we were creating a life for ourselves. <br />
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My journey with abortion does not end there. My little boy, who we adopted 2 years ago, by all definitions, should have been an abortion. He was conceived by an alleged date rape, his mom was only 16 and her life was definitely in upheaval. Thank God she chose life. Thank God she had the courage and did not listen to the worthless propaganda people give you regarding the decision to abort. Thank God she chose to have her baby... our son. Both of my boys are CONSTANT reminders why abortion is a disgusting lie sold to the highest bidder. Abortions literally snatch the most glorious members of humanity off the face of the earth.... for convenience, for fear, for birth control, for ease.<br />
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So, today my friend finished her abortion. My friend is such a lovely person. She is someone I respect, admire and love. Still do. But, today she completed an abortion and it hurts my heart. She was tricked by society, by her "friends", by her "family" and by "medical professionals". She was duped and all I could do was listen....care....love....pray....forgive....accept. Her baby would have been beautiful. She would have been an awesome mom. They robbed that from her. That makes me sad. <br />
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Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-14523911353968625782014-07-15T14:34:00.002-07:002014-07-15T14:43:27.510-07:00My Husband, The Superhero<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I have had the privelege the last 15 years to be the wife to a great man. He is quietly understated and rarely in my spotlight which is reserved for our 5 amazing children. Like a typical wife I have the many war stories, complaints and woes of everyday married life that I wear like a badge of honor. I love a good glass of red wine with a side of "whine" like every other married lady. However, there are magical days that remind me again and again why I married this ol ball and chain. Today has been one of those days...</div>
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My husband works, on average, 60 hours a week at a back breaking job that was far from his first choice of work. While managing a grocery store has offered many perks {the insurance is simply the best and being the first to find out when steaks are getting discounted is most definitely a perk of a being a Grocery Store wife} it has also taken a lot physically and mentally on my sweet hubby. He leaves before the sun comes up and doesn't return till the sun goes down. Shawn has NEVER used that as an excuse when it comes to his kids. He is the best dad and is the most important person in their lives. They idolize him. They have a hero in their lives and it is not a cheap action figure.</div>
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Besides managing a Grocery store, 5 kids and a whiny wife, Shawn made the decision 3 years ago to begin doing comedy. He started by going to an open mic night and on his SECOND time on stage he performed at a local comedy competition. He took second place and the judges were shocked by how good he was. Funny thing was, I always knew it. He has made comedy a huge part of his life and is finding ways to live a life full of passion and creativity. </div>
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He kind of rocks at his time management because he has NEVER let his family suffer because of his comedy aspirations. He makes a point of spending his late evenings {after the kiddos and I head to bed} to work into the wee hours crafting his comedy. He has surrounded himself by comedians that support him as a family man. He even has an amazing writing group that meets late on Mondays to ensure that his family time is not compromised. All and all, I got lucky when I married a man that understood that family is first but that doesn't mean you can't live an extra ordinary life. </div>
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But that still doesn't explain the magic of this ordinary day. Shawn has been working hard on making sure that his comedy has benefited those around him. We have most definitely benefited from the extra income his shows bring in. My trips to see my family has been paid in full by his comedy gigs. His comedian friends have benefitted by having a friend that champions them and celebrates their successes... this is rare in the comedy world. He has even quietly done some pretty amazing things behind the scenes that most people will never know, but that I have the benefit of knowing and proudly carrying in my heart. But, that still doesn't explain today. <br />
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Today I was invited to his Event page on Facebook to promote his show this Sunday night. This show is unlike any other. He has arranged with the owner of Comedy Off Broadway to host a show for a local comedian named Darin whose infant daughter has been seriously sick. He has found 4 comedians that have agreed and demanded to do the show for FREE. Our headliner is nationally touring comedian Stewart Huff! The tickets are only $8 which means that everyone can come for a cheap night of good comedy while still raising awareness and funds for Baby Carlin. Shawn heard about Darin and immediately set to work on finding out how he could help.</div>
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Baby Carlin has been in and out of hospitals and her parents have really struggled. The horror of having a sick child is one that we have never had to endure. Our 5 healthy kids have never know a really seriously sick day in their lives. I know his heart broke just like mine when we thought of this little girl. The medical bills alone would swallow you whole. The time off of work would be financially crushing. Just putting food on the table would be a struggle... physically, mentally and financially. Most people would hear this story and say some prayers. Maybe add the family to a prayer chain at church. If you were feeling really ambitious a fancy chicken casserole would do just the trick to heal this dilemma. Most normal people are not Shawn.</div>
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The show Shawn has put together will be able to give 100% of the proceeds to Carlin's family to help with any expenses they are wracking up. To their credit ALL of the comedians will be donating their services and they all demanded to do that. How awesome is that??? Donations will be taken and lots of information will be given out to help continue supporting this family. The best news? This show is going to be a MONTHLY commitment that he is making to help other people in similar situations where finances are suffocating them. Our world is a big one full of people who are waiting to make a difference. I guess Shawn just got tired of waiting. </div>
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He is doing this for NO other reason besides that he is a great man with amazingly creative ideas that he uses to benefit OTHERS... always putting himself last. Even as I write this I know he will be mad that I am sharing these feelings with the world. He will be worried that I didn't talk enough about all of the people who are helping him, the club, the family we are helping, the cause we are promoting. But, today I need to talk about my pride as a wife to my best friend who pretty much rocks. There is no greater character trait than the humility, kindness and empathy that this is promoting in others but more importantly in our families lives. You do things to help others but most of the time you find that by helping others you are always helping yourself. </div>
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As an old married couple with a few years under our belt, we have known struggles. When you struggle you find yourself in very dark and lonely places. You can feel beaten up and defeated. You get the old Bible story of Job out and read it like it is your autobiography. It has always amazed and inspired me that Shawn has always taken those struggles and turned it into something truly magical. Something that will literally change someone's world. My husband is my hero and he makes me want to be better person every day. Today I am very grateful that I get to be his wife and walk with him through life. Today I am loving every minute of it. </div>
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If you are interested in purchasing tickets, please follow the link:</div>
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(<a href="https://comedyoffbroadway.com/event/stewart-huff" rel="nofollow nofollow" target="_blank">https://comedyoffbroadway.com/event/stewart-huff</a>)</div>
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or call:<span class="text_exposed_show"> {859} 271-5653.</span> </div>
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For Donations to benefit the Hensley Family please go to:</div>
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<a class="_2kcr _42ef" href="http://www.gofundme.com/carlinhensley" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.gofundme.com/carlinhensley</a></div>
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Her Facebook page is "Caring for Carlin"</div>
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Recently Crowned Louisville's Funniest Dad of 2014</div>
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The Trophy of Honor!</div>
<br />Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-59921431202446571982014-03-13T15:36:00.000-07:002014-03-13T15:36:21.264-07:00Healthy Promises and Friggin' VegetablesGetting older really is unfortunate. In so many ways I have become a discouraged mama. My body just isn't the same after having babies and abusing it for so many years. I think I have turned that corner where eating funyuns, a 3 musketeers and a coke just doesn't cut it. I talked to some good people and listened to their own struggles and so I made a decision. Today I am going to make some healthy promises to myself.<br />
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One, I am going to lose 40 lbs in a year. I refuse to share my weight but let's just say that I have accumulated approximately 10 lbs with each new addition to our family. I used to say that putting a number on it is not good. Focusing on that number can be negative. I still agree but i have to give myself a number so that each pound down will be a victory.<br />
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Two, I am going to bite the bullet and exercise. For now that will mean getting back into running but I hope that means that I will add some gym time to my schedule. My sister talks about this as a way to escape the kiddies and get some down time. This will help me learn to be a bit more selfish. The idea creeps me out but I also know I need this. I have to give myself permission to be selfish. I am happy to say this is VERY hard for me.<br />
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Three I am back to healthy eating. This means I have to say farewell to my sweet, salty and white things. I will have to devote love and attention to tasteless crap like cauliflower, celery and carrots. This one I am very bitter about. I love good food. Well, let's be honest, not good food but delightful food. I refuse to say goodbye but I will reluctantly say, see you later! Tonight I will have one last splurge and have this decadent, beautiful cake ball. I will savor it and allow my last few precious moments to be in complete adoration of its goodness. I may even photograph it. Who knows?<br />
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These health issues have affected me in lots of ways. Physically i am tired, cranky and just old. I want to run without huffing and puffing. I want my skin to look better. I want to fit in some hottie clothes. I want a cute do and be one of those "hipster" moms. These things are important and have taken a huge backseat for me.<br />
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Emotionally I want my confidence back. I want to not feel like the big girl that's pushed aside. I want to feel more secure in who I am and how I look. I want to be kinder to myself. Men are jerks as we all know. I have discovered with my chunkier self that men don't look you in the eye when you look or feel like crap. They are less respectful and chivalrous. Doors are not held open for you. You are called m'am in a condescending way. Its a very different experience. One that has truly shocked me.<br />
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Psychologically, I really want to make a change. I have some serious issues with trashing myself in my head. Its kind of gross. The negative talk we do as women is truly damaging. We are harder on ourselves than any other person could be. I need to change this not just for me but for my beautiful daughters. They are developing their own inner voice. I want it to be strong, clear and kind. If mine is, there's will be too.<br />
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These are huge goals. Goals that I can accomplish but they won't be easy. I will fail. If you know me in real life...no judging. Help me be kind to myself and be a cheerleader not a critic. I am hopeful that this is the last time I say I am going to make a lifestyle change. This is the time I want it for so many reasons. I want to live to be an old lady and bug the living daylights out of my husband. As much as I would love to do this fueled on funyuns and coke, I am very aware that is a pipe dream of a young un. Not the wise knowledge of a woman. So I will pack away my goodies and say hello to carrots. I will do my best to carry on cheerfully but forgive my curse words in the next few months....I already have my favorites picked out.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-88913695556546871842014-03-11T12:44:00.001-07:002014-03-11T12:44:43.562-07:00That Little Voice...I have been obsessed with the Bachelor... obsessed. I am almost embarrassed to admit my love for this show but then I think of how adorable Juan Pablo is and I feel better with my obsession. However, last night I think I may have broken up with Juan Pablo...although I am not sure. I am very conflicted over my feelings for my secret boyfriend. But, after last nights episode I know a few things for sure.<br />
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One, you never give the milk for free. I used to hate this saying until I watched my poor Claire. Claire gave the milk away for free and then was truly surprised that Juan Pablo had no respect for her. She was shocked that he was only connected to her by their physical encounters. She was appalled that he knew nothing about her and dared to give her a sexual comment about wanting her physically. Has no one taught this girl this saying? Or, is this just the first time she realized it was true? In some ways....WARNING: ABOUT TO GET CONTROVERSIAL... I don't blame Juan Pablo. He took the cues from a girl that showed up to his hotel room in the middle of the night to have some hanky panky in the ocean. He is also a stupid boy. He was taught by Claire to view her like a piece of meat. He even tried to tell her that he thought they had made a mistake. The world freaked out when he said it but I kind of respected my secret boyfriend for that. He tried to tell her that he did not know anything about her and she was defensive. I think it is because it made her feel like a dirty girl... which she was.<br />
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Two, if my family sold me up the river I would literally die. So, it appears that Juan Pablo has some family issues. I could not believe this guy had a family that was warning his girlfriends away from him...ON NATIONAL TV!!! This says a lot about his support system. I am so very thankful that I have such a supportive family and that Shawn comes from such a supportive family. I definitely watched last night in disbelief as I saw a family crucify one of their own. I always find it fascinating when families have a bad seed and they love to talk about the bad seed as if they have no idea how they came to be. Listen friends, you have a bad seed because you created a bad seed. Bad people don't happen magically overnight. You create bad people. So, while the world was shocked at how horrible my secret boyfriend is, I was caught up in how horrible his family is and feeling darn lucky that I have the awesome family I do. <br />
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Three, I find it fascinating how all women are born with a tiny little voice that speaks to their hearts, minds and soul. Throughout this season of the Bachelor I found it inspiring as woman by woman listened to this tiny voice that told them to back away. It is my belief that part of the reason they listened is because Juan Pablo appeared to be such a great listener, as one by one they freaked out on him. My favorite character trait of my secret boyfriend was how he would listen to them question themselves and never judge them. He never tried to convince them to stay or that they were wrong. Some people thought that was creepy, I loved it!<br />
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I teach my girls that you have a voice because you are a woman of God. This voice speaks to you loudly, if you are listening, during your dating years. The voice very clearly tells you if your boyfriend is the man you will marry. During my hottie tottie years I dated a bunch of boys. Within weeks it was always clear whether I would be happy marrying them. For the first 2-3 weeks I always thought I would. By the 4th week I would know. It was just an instinctual feeling of wasting my time. I never liked to waste my time, especially on a boy who was not worth it. I never felt bad about walking away from these relationships. I knew they were going nowhere. They were fun. They were exciting. They were short lived. I don't regret them because when I met Shawn I very clearly heard my little voice screaming...."This is the boy you will marry". Because I cultivated this voice, I was able to listen. Fascinating watching these girls choose to listen or ignore their little voice. Call me crazy but, I loved showing this to my girls. I wanted them to see their mama isn't crazy.... you do have the voice and the CHOICE to listen or ignore it. <br />
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Four, physical connections are awesome but relationships can't be held up by this alone. My Juan Pablo loved his "bessitos". He loved them too much. This much was clear... at the end of the season he didn't know any of the women well enough to propose to them. I kind of dug that he recognized that and did not propose. He maybe had a glimpse into a future where bessitos were not enough. I have often said parenting sucks but you know what else sucks? A real relationship. There are highs and there are lows. In a real relationship your sexuality also has peaks and valleys. If you have nothing but a physical connection there is no way you can sustain a real relationship. Sometimes you don't want bessitos. Sometimes you just want someone to listen to you talk about your day with empathy. Sometimes you just need a soft place to fall. Sometimes you just need silence. This is a healthy relationship. I loved this season and how it highlighted without even recognizing it that a physical relationship is great but if that is all you have, you have a whole lot of nothing at the end of the day.<br />
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Women love the bachelor because it is sweet to watch two people fall in love. If you are lucky enough to have love, reminiscing and remembering the beginning moments is always fun. In the beginning everything was magical and just like a fairy tale. It is so nice to see that happen with people because it makes you feel thankful for your own love story. Women are not that complicated...we enjoy love stories and we love stories that are uncomplicated and sweet. Unfortunately, sweet Juan Pablo could complicate a bowl of cereal. So, we are left feeling uninspired and sad with the not-so-happy ending we received. <br />
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However, I enjoyed watching this season and I loved taking these four lessons and teaching them to my daughters. I found this season really interesting and I thank my secret boyfriend for taking the bullet to let us all learn them. The world is seemingly against Juan Pablo who tried to keep making everything "OK" but I like him for all of the lessons he bumbled through. Give the poor dude a break. He did his best and although his best looked messy at least he tried. So, in conclusion, for now, Juan Pablo and I are still secretly dating... and it's OK. I will let you all know if we break up...Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-82557249228111780152014-03-10T12:47:00.001-07:002014-03-10T12:47:35.149-07:00Lent Kind of RocksThis Lent I have decided to start doing a Daily Devotional and The Love Dare for Parents. I have never been good about following devotionals and quite frankly, my prayer life resembles mini chats with God that happen on the fly. Often times it is on the fly and to ask for help. Which, if you think about it, is kind of rude.<br />
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"Hello God it's me Katie... you know the girl that only talks to you when I need something?"<br />
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Yeah that's right, kind of like a spoiled teenager asking to borrow gas money after not completing any of my daily responsibilities. I am a busy girl who loves God but definitely has a hard time showing God. I just don't have the time or energy. I put God at the bottom of my to do list. He kind of falls after blogging but before folding laundry. Ugh!<br />
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This Lent I have decided to try and remedy this. I want to increase my spiritual life and FINALLY heed the advice of one of my all time favorite priests. Here's the story... I was in confession and breaking it down but really honestly sharing how I just can't find a deeper connection with God. Father told me the following... a really rich spiritual life comes the same way losing weight does. To lose weight you have to eat right but you also have to exercise. So, going to mass and practicing your faith is great, just like having a healthy diet. But to really lose the weight and keep it off, you got to do the work. You have to exercise your soul daily by cultivating a personal prayer life with God.<br />
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So, yeah... for those of you that know me, EXERCISE?!?!?!?! Father couldn't have given me worse news. I had to sit with that blow for a while and finally accepted that I would have to do the work. It is now 4 years later and I am finally getting the message. <br />
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My Daily Devotional is short and sweet. It offers a reading and a brief thought for the day. I am trying to do good about jotting down my thoughts on each day. Today's entry was "Shine Anyway". Really good and needed message for me. Things don't always go the way I expect them to go. I have been struggling for a long time but today's devotion reminded me that my speech and behavior need to be a positive witness always. I kind of suck at this. I like to complain, I like to freak the freak out, I enjoy that feeling of dumping my negativity and letting it all go. But, that reaction doesn't help to heal me or give good example to those around me. If I was Job I would have quit after the second trial. I don't like hardship. Never have, never will. Today's devotion told me to suck it up and shine anyway. <br />
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Besides the Devotional, I am trying to do a Daily Veggietales Devotional with my kids. This is not a pressure thing. For those kiddos that want to join, they are welcome. But, there is no demanding of participation. I like the feeling of praying together especially during Lent. I like how the little boys look at the pictures and hear those words. Even if they get bored, that special closeness is awesome! I am going to attempt to fit in some Rosary saying, too. But, no promises. <br />
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Lastly, I am rocking out the Parents Love Dare. 3 days down and feeling inspired to be a better parent and more demonstrative with my love. We shall see. I decided to do this Love Dare because I know the greatest occupation I have on this earth and the one that gives me purpose, is being a parent. I have been abundantly blessed to be a parent of 5 kids! Some people don't even get one. I have 5. Now, while there are days I wish I could run away to Timbuktu, most days I am completely over the moon in love with my kids. The craziness of our daily lives do not always allow me to show them. This Love Dare is going to help me do that more during Lent.<br />
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Doesn't Lent rock??? I know we are preparing for Good Friday and it is a time that remembers Jesus' suffering but it also reminds me that I have a responsibility to live up to my purpose. To cultivate a great spiritual life. To dig deeper and be more faithful. Lent is my time to delve in and become a better version of me. This is what I intend to do.... I suppose I will also have to eat Fish on Fridays. I will, but I don't have to like it. Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-33291309316640446962014-03-05T18:11:00.001-08:002014-03-05T18:11:58.257-08:00KY Bill HB 575... Womens Right to be Educated<div>
<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Most of you have probably assumed, due to the huge family we are blessed with, that I am one of those crazy Pro Life Catholics. And, you would be right. I am a proud Pro Life woman and a proud Shiite Catholic {this means extremely strict and rigid}. If you are pro choice knowing this probably makes you hold the following judgments: I am against womens rights, I am a crazy religious fanatic and I am Republican. </span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">One, I am Republican but I also am very libertarian and very Democrat. I have to say I am Republican because this is the ONLY party that values, respects and protects ALL human life. The democrats work their whole lives to protect the lives of endangered species, trees and the ozone layer. Libertarians work their whole lives to ensure that all people can do whatever they choose to do with little to no interference from the government. And, if this means killing a child...so be it. While both the libertarians and Democrats have unbelievably amazing records for protecting and providing for the least of His people, they both also have forgotten the very LEAST of His people. For these reasons alone I am tied into being a Republican. I will never vote with any party that does not put Human Life first. Thus, you are right....a flaming Republican by default.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">You may think I am a crazy religious fanatic and to that I say wrong-o. I am quietly Catholic and believe evangelization comes from the life you lead, not by holding membership parties. I am a Real Catholic, meaning that I have committed to 100% of my Church teaching. I am part of a religion that has a hierarchy that has stood the test of time and has NEVER faltered on the issue of human life. I accept that and wholeheartedly endorse Her teaching. I am not an Easter/Christmas Catholic, I practice my faith everyday. In PRACTICING my faith, I fail daily. This means I do not judge others who fail for fear that judgment will follow my own inadequacies. So yes, I am a Shiite Catholic but no... I am far from a crazy Christian.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Lastly, and by far my most favorite opinion that us Pro Life women endure... I am obviously all about stifling women and taking away their power to choose the life they want to live. I am obviously all about burdening women to stay at home and care for the children they are sadled with. To this I say, loudly and strongly...if you are Pro Choice you are the one who is Anti Women. You are the ones who stifle women issues. You are the ones who allow men, sexism and society to hold down a group of humans so powerful it frightens the living daylights out of men everywhere. And, let me do the honor of explaining why.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Let's first examine Planned Parenthood, the mothership for all Pro Choice women in this country. This organization is the number one location of abortions in the United States and arguably has one of the worst anti- women records in human history. The very organization was founded by a woman, so ate up with racism and socialism you can't find a quote by her on the internet without some of those amazingly unflattering ideals to seep in. Margaret Sanger founded the organization with the full intent to diminish the African American population and in doing so, made these women slaves to the government by providing alternatives that enabled men to step back from their responsibilities and lay full burden on the WOMAN. Margaret Sanger began this plot strategically and the figures today clearly show her winning record. And, yet Planned Parenthood is hailed as the Pro Woman hub of the world. This is laughable at best.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Planned Parenthood, continues to this date to be associated with the number one reason for African American deaths in this country. Planned Parenthood offices are conveniently located in primarily African American/lower income cities. Coincidence? I think not. Does no one question this strange and consistent behavior? Does no one find this racist, sexist and devoid of protection for women? If they were a "WOMEN" organization, would they not counsel more women about the gift of adoption and sisters helping one another out? Would they not offer financial resources supporting birth mothers before, during and after labor? </span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Planned Parenthood has helped to spearhead the distribution of cancer causing birth control and dangerous alternatives to countless WOMEN DAILY. Look up the staggering statistics on the birth control pill- one of the biggest birth control options that is being given out like candy at every Planned Parenthood, is linked to infertility and cancer. Mirena has been linked to serious life threatening conditions in women. Mirena is advertised like it is the newest and best pair of shoes you can own. These birth control options have been created by MEN and for MEN. Men are the ones that pressure women to "protect themselves" by filling their bodies with chemicals that are proven to alter a women's fertility and health. Meanwhile, they could be educating women on how to NATURALLY prevent pregnancy by knowing their body better than any MAN could. </span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Lastly, Planned Parenthood, is the pristine organization that hides behind "Womens Preventative Cancer Care" while doing nothing more than screening and referrals. Basically, sending women to someone else to give them care. These preventative services account for an inadequate percentage of their caseloads and yet, they hide behind this rhetoric. Pro choice women everywhere continue to hail this organization as pro women. Give me one fact to support that.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Pro Choice women talk about a Women's Right to Choose. Right to Choose the life or death of an infant. What about the future women they are choosing to take that choice from? Can you even imagine how many Superwomen have been taken off the face of the Earth for the sake of the right to choose? Abortions have far more lasting consequences emotionally than physically. Woman suffer daily from their "Right to Choose". They suffer in silence because Pro Choice women do not want to hear or face their regret and Pro Life women stand back in prideful arrogance... not willing to let their hearts feel empathy for a woman that has made that horrendous choice. How many Pro Choice women are even aware the plantiff, Norma McCorvey in Roe Vs. Wade has become one of the chief women leading the charge on overturning this unimaginable ruling? </span></span></div>
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<br /><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">To this I say, who is controlling the strings of these women puppets? Is it not strange that drug companies are primarily ran by men and the drugs they give women to control their fertility have a history of side effects to include and not limited to: weight gain, bloating, moodiness, deadly infections, infertility, ovarian and breast cancer? Is it not strange that the strongest proponents to Pro Choice powerhouse Planned Parenthood, also happen to be men? Has no one stopped to consider the odd ally Pro Choice women find in men that want to control- financially, emotionally and physically- women's fertility and pregnancies? I am shocked that through all these years of Feminism, not one feminist has stood and said to the world, I WILL NOT allow a MAN to be behind any chemical or physical alterations of my precious body. A body, by the way, that is capable of growing a HUMAN inside of it.</span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Pro Choice women talk about the Right to Choose but do NOT support the right for ALL women to be educated on the health dangers from abortions and the effects on the fetus during the process of abortion. In fact, Pro Choice women stand in front of ALL women, forbidding them the RIGHT to be educated on health issues. They do so, to protect the RIGHT to choose. All while preventing them the choice to be informed women. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">So, no, I am far from being Anti-women. In fact I would say that I am the biggest feminist you could meet. I challenge you to consider how your "Pro Choice" stance makes you a feminist, while there is so clearly so many reasons to prove that abortion has damaged women since its inception. I would challenge you to take to task the men who are creating your birth control. I would challenge you to dig into the history of companies that sell their "Feminist" agendas. I would challenge you to examine the facts and statistics of abortion and for once, step back and allow WOMEN, at the very least, the RIGHT to be informed on the dangers associated with abortions. Then, and only then can you stand arm in arm with me, a true Feminist.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">If you live in Kentucky I urge you to contact your local representatives regarding Bill HB575. I have included the information for you to discern whether you can use your voice to help!</span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">1. Call 1 800 372 7181 </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">2. When you call, give your zip code and get the name of your representative</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. Leave the following message: "please assign HB 575 to the House Judiciary Committee to insure it gets a fair hearing. We know your decision to send it elsewhere is simply a way to kill the bill."</span></span></span></div>
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<span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">I</span><a href="http://f/" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">f</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> your Rep. is not already a cosponsor; ask him/her to do so.</span></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/record/14RS/HB575/bill.doc" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">HB 575</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> (BR 1976) - </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H003.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">G. Watkins</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H088.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">R. Benvenuti III</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H051.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">J. Carney</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H097.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">H. Collins</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H006.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">W. Coursey</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H068.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">J. Fischer</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H012.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">J. Gooch Jr.</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H027.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">J. Greer</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H093.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">K. Hall</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H002.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">R. Heath</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H074.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">R. Henderson</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H026.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">T. Moore</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H062.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">R. Quarles</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H041.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">T. Riner</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H092.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">J. Short</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">, </span><a href="http://www.lrc.ky.gov/legislator/H014.htm" target="_blank"><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">T. Thompson</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">AN ACT relating to full disclosure in public safety.<br />Create new sections of KRS 311.710 to 311.820 to require an ultrasound prior to an abortion and to allow a civil suit for medical malpractice if not performed; amend KRS 311.990 to provide a criminal penalty; amend KRS 311.725 to require the Cabinet for Health and Family Services to provide various pregnancy-related materials and information in print from and on a stable Internet Web site. </span></div>
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Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-66844978097738462472014-03-03T14:34:00.003-08:002014-03-03T14:35:28.601-08:00Bullies and How They Will Go DownOne thing no one prepares you for in parenting is how to deal when your child is being treated badly by peers. I have been able to deal with every parenting issue fairly well but, this one is a rough one. You see, I am a Buckley. I have always defined this as a sassy, strong, independent chick with a big ol mouth who is not afraid to fight for what I believe to be right. I have learned that in parenting I have to stifle this part of who I am in order to encourage that trait in my children.<br />
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This last week this has been really hard to have faith that they are developing this trait. I struggle when I see them struggle. I really struggle when I see other little jerks make them struggle. I find myself wanting to jump that child and make sure they are never able to pick on my child again. I find myself coming up with ways to make sure that they will not get away with it. I dream of calling up their parents and threatening to meet them out back for a good ol Detroit sized butt kicking. But, alas... I can not. Law dictates that I don't. More importantly life dictates that I can not create this safe environment for them. They must create for themselves. I must have faith that they will acquire this trait that will help them get through their life. <br />
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You acquire this trait by developing it on your own using a foundation of what your parents taught you. For example, when I was about 5 years old I can remember planning an attack on our paper boy. He had dared to drink out of our sprinkler while delivering papers. At the time, we were only focused on the fact that he walked on our lawn and took something that didn't belong to him. Looking back I know the poor kid was probably just thirsty on a hot day. No matter. We took 2 important lessons from my parents {not stealing and not being disrespectful of others property} and we used this as our reason to enact sweet revenge. There were 4 of us at the time.... Regis-7, Me- 5 Mary-4 and Brian- 2. The 3 oldest hid behind my parents car and waited for the criminal. As he approached we grabbed handful of rocks and began pelting him, yelling at him to stay off our lawn and keep his filthy mouth off the sprinkler. The kid took off and in that moment, we became little conquerers on the side of righteousness. <br />
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You acquire this trait by observing your family members, who, even as adults, exhibited this crazy need to protect each other viciously. When I was 17, my parents took me out to the Gaelic League in Detroit to hear a great Irish Punk Band. This was a pretty rough area and some definite Irish hooligans roamed the dark hallways of this bar. We met up with my Uncles and proceeded to listen to the band. I started dancing and this old, drunk Irish dude came up, grabbed me and started dancing. Like a typical 17 year old girl, I started laughing and having fun...for about 5 minutes. Then I felt creeped out. I looked over to my family and there was my Dad with his arms crossed and my Uncle behind him, on top of a chair, watching. ON TOP OF A CHAIR. The song ended and I went to walk away. Old dude didn't like that and grabbed me for a dance. My Uncle hopped down and with my dad, told him to let me go. The guy did, with some choice words. It didn't end there. There needs to be some justice. The bouncers, who knew my Uncle, had the dude tossed out and roughed up. I can honestly say this feeling of being protected was awesome!<br />
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You acquire this trait by loving your family so much that no one can ever say anything to hurt them...or else. In high school my sister was getting bullied by a snotty cheerleader and her older sister. Every day she was coming home, intimidated and feeling bad. I knew how much these jerks were hurting her. At the time, my sister and I did not get along. This did not matter...she was my sister. So, I carefully concocted a plan to meet this chick in the halls. I came up to her and started talking so nicely to her. I did this until she bought it. Then I leaned in real close and said to her "If you ever touch my sister again or say another bad thing to her I will &%^* you up and kick your &%$$^. Do you hear me * ((%$ # &*%&&!" And, I would have, if she said another word to my sister.<br />
Which she did not.<br />
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So, now you get a small sense of who I am and now you know how tough it is for me to take this on the chin. This is why I have such a hard time letting my children fight their own battle. It goes against the very nature of who I grew up to be. But alas, as they get older and the middle school high jinks begin I am only allowed to sit back and observe. I can not open my mouth and threaten the crap out of the mean cheerleaders. I can not stand on a chair and have my personal bouncers take out the idiots. I can not hide behind a car with a handful of rocks, waiting to take out the brats. I have to sit and wait for my babies to grow their own bit o' Buckley. <br />
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I know they will because they will be surrounded by the same values I was. They are protected by family that loves and honors them. They fiercely love each other. There are signs of the Buckley fight. I caught them the other day planning some shenanigans on our neighbors who let their dog poop on our lawn {The nerve!}. I heard them say, "they didn't even pick it up!" "They just let him poop all over our yard!" So, I know it is growing. But, in the meantime I have to hold down my emotions, give lots of love and hugs and pray. I may pray like Evan Jaron on that song "Pray For You" but I will pray nonetheless. I will hold my tongue and let them learn to fight their own battles. It will kill me but it is what I must do....right after I stare them down, while punching my hands together and giving them the Ol Buckley look.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-81950914561292195732014-02-14T20:33:00.001-08:002014-02-14T20:33:42.613-08:00Open Letter to the Great Woody Allen***Disclaimer: Woody Allen is innocent until proven guilty. Unfortunately a lot of rich guilty "innocent" people roam our beautiful world. In the court of public opinion, we are allowed to voice our opinions of said guilty "innocent" people. But, again, for the record, Woody Allen is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.<br />
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Dear Woody Allen,<br />
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You, my friend, are a pervert. You are a pervert who makes really annoying movies with vague themes and weird story lines. You are freak that married a girl that you raised as your child. You are a pedophile that used our court systems to hide from abuse allegations from your daughter. You are a coward who hides behind the gates of Hollywood keeping justice at bay. You're gross and weird. But, Hollywood still loves you.<br />
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I don't get it. Hollywood revers you. They honor you with fancy awards and even have your female actors sing great accolades about you. They make shrines of you and every strange movie you put out is like the second coming of the Messiah. You sit back with your intellectual, quietness observing your worshipping little fools and soak that shit up. Its creepy. Its universally wrong and luckily I think people are starting to figure this and you, out.<br />
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It started out slowly but really came to a boil during the Golden Globes. You blamed your crazy ex lover for her innocent tweets because you are condescending enough to believe that we can't see you. You are not transparent, fool. We see you and have for awhile. That night was a coming of age for many people. It was ok for the average joe to quietly and invisibly see your movies but he could never admit that. Mothers everywhere would admonish average joe and tell him all about who you were. But, you let Hollywood make a huge mistake. You let them come out of the Woody Allen closet with a hot pink unitard and tiara. Big mistake. People liked you in the closet. The closet kept you safe. Now you are out and so are all your dirty little skeletons. <br />
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I can't wait for the day that Hollywood turns on you. They will. They always do, most especially when loudmouths like me and others, tirelessly work to bring you down and use the same media you do to put out your crappy films. Some big time producer will find a little known writer to create a script of your pathetic life. He will find some young, up and coming actor to play the creeper role of you and will tell the story of your injustices. The funniest part is they will make this guy look pathetic and will try to condescendingly explain how your marriage was not true incest. They may even try to give you a mental disorder to help explain away your sexual predator nature. What a full circle day that will be when Johnny No Name wins an Oscar for portraying the sick Woody Allen!<br />
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I wonder how you feel sitting in your kitchen at night, chewing antacids and drinking warm milk {that's what creepers do} while reading the latest information to be splashed all over the entertainment websites. The tide is changing my friend. The tide is most certainly changing. Does it make you worried? Or, are you so arrogant to be above it all? Do you discuss this with your wife? Do you hear her cry at night worried about your children and what they must go through at school? Oddly, this must be very similar to what your little Dylan went through at her school. Don't you find it funny how karma works things out?<br />
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I know you probably think it is weird that a 30 something mom is sitting on her computer blogging about your life. But, you do realize all moms across the land are gunning for you, right? Mama bears don't mind if they have to stand up for someone else's child. Our club is much bigger and can do much more damage than the Hollywood machine that churns out people like you. We don't need gangsters to do our dirty work. We got blogs, social media and the power of the people. We got this. We don't stop till justice comes to our children. And, my friend justice is currently hunting you down. And, I am sitting here with my box of popcorn and oversized drink waiting for that day. It's like being at a Woody Allen film... you got to sit through it but you know eventually it has to end. Here's hoping the credits roll soon....I will be there with a standing ovation for the great Woody Allen.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
Moms Around the WorldKatiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-763470752223785267.post-5970891859119267982014-02-14T19:55:00.001-08:002014-02-14T19:55:06.058-08:00Parenting...We Are Friends, Kind OfSo, here's the thing, I have been a parent for the past 15 years and during this time I have learned many things. Tonight some of those lessons are heavy on my heart. My sister and sister in law wrote blogs that talked about parenting which made me think...a lot. Then a great girl I worked with said some wise words to me today. Wise words about being a good mother. Really wise words. Before I go to bed I would like to share my thoughts.<br />
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One, before I became a parent I was chock full of public service announcements on how to raise my sweet, perfect angels. I was full of them until the day they flew out of my womb in all their glory. That day was a game changer to say the least. I learned very quickly that everyone will have a million opinions on how wrong you are doing it. How much you should learn from them. These opinions were amped up even more by the fact I was a Catholic girl that got married while pregnant. Can you imagine the scandal? Can you imagine the judgment? Most of the time the opinions are unsolicited and totally negative. They deflate you as a parent and they hurt even more when you find out they are shared openly and with others. It has taken me 15 years to know that these opinions DO NOT matter. My parenting is done with my husband. We are a team that only consults with each other {and maybe one or two other special friends}. Our parenting also comes with loads of prayers. I mean... dump trucks of prayers.<br />
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Which brings me to my second lesson on parenting...I have had almost no pride when it comes to parenting. Only in the sacredness of my shower {true story} do I let myself feel a small sense of pride or accomplishment. Don't get me wrong, as a person I am the most prideful, arrogant human being but when it comes to my parenting my insecurities are huge. I spend most of my time talking with family and friends about my struggles and asking in complete humility and truth to pray for us and them. I will never, ever agree that my children are the bomb dot com because that is damaging for them and, most importantly, for us. I give kudos where needed but let the chips fall where they may. As a side note from lesson #2, I will caution you to be selective about your prayer warriors. Some of my friendly Christians are not always so Christian like in your confessions. My mama bear needs to come out more when discussing my concerns about my children. My hope is that I am surrounded by people who truly want the best for us and them.<br />
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Thirdly, USE YOUR PARENTS! For those of us lucky enough to have incredible parents, be grateful and humble enough to take their lessons and adopt them as your own. We are lucky that we both have incredible parents. Shawn was an outstanding kid. He is a hard worker, treats people better than himself and has limitless integrity. Those are the only things that matter. Those things came from his parents. I am a selfless mother with a huge heart and maybe known to be pretty fun. These are the things that matter... I got them from my parents. If my kids only walk away with these traits then, boom! I win this parenting gig with flying colors. Sure, I want them to be millionaires, to be heroes, to be professionally successful or profoundly religious but more important I want them to be good people that make other people into good people. Like our parents did.<br />
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Last lesson, after 15 years, 5 amazing children, 1 adoption and a million problems from the start to now... I know this to be true. No aspect of your life or the lives of your children are prepared or planned for. There are unforeseen pitfalls everywhere. You can't avoid them. You need to learn how to have faith and trust in your ability to parent through them. So that one day, when you are not around, your kid parents themselves. It is my greatest hope that the lessons I have instilled in my children, due to the love we conducted them with, not necessarily the wisdom or pride, will guide them all the days of their lives. They won't live with me forever. I can not be there every step of the way. I have to trust in their abilities and have faith in their strong wills and independent spirits. <br />
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Finally... parenting sucks. There are no magic handbooks, secret passwords or fantastical gurus to tell you how to do it. Parenting will break your heart, steal your soul, drain your brain and leave you penniless. But, if done right parenting will teach you more about yourself than you ever dreamed possible and it will make you a better person than when you started. It will also make you more gentle and empathetic to other parenting soldiers who are in the trenches. You can't save them but you can make sure they know they are not alone. We are all in this battle together and the best thing we can do to help each other is to be kind. Be Kind. Be Loving. Be Less Judgemental. Be Prayerful. Be Considerate. Be Humble. Parenting is not your friend, but if chosen correctly, other parents can be your friends.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04815280571958699162noreply@blogger.com0