Unbeatable Blanket Forts

When I was a wee lil lass I spent hours, days and even weeks making these amazing forts out of blankets.  No one could hold a candle to my interior decorating or architectural genius.  In fact, if I could have found a college that offered a fine arts degree in structural blanket design I would have gotten a doctorate.  But alas, I could not and now I am forced to live out my dream through my children.

Before I give you all of my boundless knowledge in this craftsmanship I must rant.  Besides lacking gratitude, I believe children today are depleted at birth of creativity.  I see this daily by the way children in our day care center play.  Or rather, try to play.  It is a sad state of affairs when you set a bucket of blocks and dinosaurs in a group of 4 year olds and they look at you in wonder.  They have no idea how to play and look for direction and approval at every stage of play.  Recently, I have had to do trainings with our staff on Purposeful Play/ Teaching Children to Play.  I am not kidding!  The lack of imagination and creativity literally has me at a loss of words.

So in honor of my second worst childhood epidemic I give you blanket forts.  If this can't teach your children to play on their own and use their imagination you might as well turn in your parental two week notice.  Remember, without creativity and imagination you would not have any right brained people.  It is worth the investment.  We all know that right brained people are the coolest kids at the party.

The supplies are simple...flat sheets or tablecloths.  Do not let the name fool you.  Blankets are way too heavy and not for the rookie fort builder.  You will also need tape (i prefer mahvelous tape....comes off of anything) rubberbands/hair ties and clothespins.  Don't have clothesline?  Stick with the ghetto build and use pant hangers...seriously, genius.  Now, the hard part.  Buckle up buttercup...you need to be creative.  Think back on your childhood Barbie house or GI Joe fort.  Think about the rooms you created.  Look around your child's room.  Find items that you can use to create rooms.  Yes, I said it rooms.

In the pics below, I have a variety of "rooms" for you to look at.  Nothing is fancy.  Nothing costs a dime.  But, everything has a mommy payoff.  For each room I have added I have just earned at least 15 minutes of mommy time.  See?  Mommy payoff.  We have the library complete with puzzles, games and comfy furniture.  We have the fort within a fort complete with nerf guns (oh cool your jets anti gun people.  I got 3 boys....in the handbook page one says..."must have a full supply of guns and ammo".  Don't believe me?  Have 3 boys).  There is the car track area.  The building block area.  The art desk (washable crayons!).  In total 5 rooms or 1 hour and 15 minutes of mommy time!

To begin start by connecting the highest parts of your room to other high parts with sheets.  I usually move their drawers to provide more height.  Closet doors are great surfaces to build off of.  Use heavy objects to secure sheets.  If using drawers, use the actual drawers to close in a sheet.  Attach sheets to other sheets using the clothespins.  Use the rubberbands to secure sheets to bed posts.  Use the tape if all else fails to attach the sheet to walls.  In my pics I used ALL of these methods.  Voila!  Bed Fort Fabuliousness!

The most important part of this fun event is the surprise.  I will guarantee you there may be dome cursing during the assembly.  To prevent damage to your child's ears let them watch a 30 min educational show while you work your magic.  DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING.  Upon completion call your kids to the room.  Have them wait outside and knock on the door.  Open it up with much fanfare and say in your best English accent "good evening.  Welcome to your humble abode.  May I give you a tour?"  Then proceed to crawl with them through the fort and show them every magical nook and cranny. 

The best part of this idea is for one glorious moment your lil angels will look at you as if you hung the moon.  In that moment you will be there Da Vinci.  You will be there Wonder Woman.  In that moment you will be their hero.  These moments make up their memories.  Congratulations!  One of their favorite memories will now star you!

The Values of Window Shopping

I told you that many of my 365 ideas would be cheap and nothing can beat this one !   It is free.

First a small ranting from a crazy mom.  One of the worst character traits I see daily in children is the gimme's.  There is a very weird and unreal sense of ungratefulness and "I NEED that".  It is this self centered value system that we establish for our children that is, in my humble opinion, what will destroy this brilliant generation.  Parents taking the child's side NO MATTER WHAT.  Or, offering excuses for poor behavior.  Using those excuses to pass off the need for discipline and teaching the Veruca Salts of the world to be unaccountable and irresponsible.  So sad.  We all know the children who can't be in a store without having a coronary if they do not get that toy that they NEED!!!!  Such an ugly dilemma...not for the parents but for everyone else around them who have to hear the nonsense as the parent pacifies the child.

I work hard, daily, to help toddlers learn how to say my favorite line, "ok maybe next time".  I have even been known to teach children how to sing the Rolling Stones.  Not for their significance in rock n roll but because of their lyrics.  "You can't always get what you want.  But, if you try sometimes you might find, you get what you need" (sung, by the way, in a rousing Jagger voice and lots of hip movements).  So, in the spirit of that rant I urge you to consider idea 2... Window Shopping!  It may sound contradictory but if you hang with me I think I can explain the value of this seemingly horrible event.

I take my youngest 3 to Toys R Us in preparation of their bdays and holidays.  There are of course some ground rules.  One, today is a looking day.  We are not buying ANY toys.  If we do not behave we will have to leave the store and will not be able to finish taking photos.  Two, we will go down every aisle so you will get to see everything.  You must use a whisper voice do we don't scare the babies.  You also will use manners and say, "excuse me mommy, look at this".  Three, if you ask nicely I will take a photo to add to our lists.  These are the simple rules.

Now, you should be aware that photos are key because they will allow your child to learn there is a time to buy  and a time to wish.  Plus, they will feel empowered by keeping an accounting of all the toys they want.  Of course, there is always a mommy word to everything I do.  I get to have a record, with price, for everything my children want.  It is exponentially a greater resource than the old list.  They won't get it all but I will remember based on their faces what they wished for most.

While we window shop i make sure to point out the price of each object that they want.  This way we talk about money but I am also teaching them to be smart.  For instance, matchbox cars cost $5 and fast lane cost $2.50.  If they get a fast lane car they can save up the money to purchase a superhero ball.  Or, if Kiley really wants to save up to purchase a motorized vehicle we try to figure out how long that will take and how she can save up her money.

I also talk about things we need to give to others.  Maybe neices and nephews or maybe each other.  This way they know how much to save up at Christmas when purchasing a gift for each other.  We usually choose a name of someone in need at Christmas.  The window shopping is a time to reinforce this as well.  I don't want to depress my children but it is a both priority for us to teach them about other people and children who do not have the blessings we have.

Rarely have we had to leave the store.  Even my youngest behave so incredibly and shockingly well.  I like to think they are finding things they want but also developing a sense of responsibility in regards to gifts and treats.  Hopefully, this teaches them we do not NEED to buy things in every store we go to.  Hopefully it teaches them to be excited about giving to others.  Maybe it will teach them the value of money and financial responsibility.  At worst, it is a magical way of spending a rainy day talking to my children and wishing together.  The power of wishes is what makes the magic of childhood.

Movie Night

I have decided to write a daily blog.  Writing makes me feel so creative and for those that care, I truly hope you will enjoy reading about our adventures as much as we love having them.

One of my greatest dreams come true is being blessed to be a mom of 5 children. With this enormous blessing comes extraordinary challenges.  However I feel very passionate about my belief that if you get off your tushy and spend some time planning activities for your hooligans, your day goes much better and the challenges are much less damaging to the soul. 

Writing this blog will challenge me to be a better writer but it will also challenge me to be a better mom.  So, for 365 days I will choose a daily activity to blog about.  My activities will be cheap enough and easy enough for any of my mom friends to try at home.  I hope you will find these ideas inspiring!

Tonight I will blog about movie nights.  In our house this is never "just a movie night".  This is a time to be in our comfiest jammies, have a special snack and bring ALL the mattresses in the family room.  Before I continue I will share that the mattresses are essential to fun.  It takes approx 10 min to pull out 3 mattresses.  It is also a wonderful time to quickly declutter under the beds.  Believe me, your children will be more than willing to lend a hand in order to speed up the bed process. 
On this particular night we took out the beds and chose the movie Clifford (not the big red dog....that is for lil ones).  Choice of movie is imperative especially considering all the ages.  Everyone has to agree and everyone has to participate.  The children all get their blankies and pillows to the family room and piled them up.  They know the rules...find a spot in 5 minutes and put your bottom glue on.  I usually repeat this no less than 100 times...c'est la vie.  The movie begins...

I will generally wait about 20 min before I get up to prepare a snack.  Tonight I made a smores trail mix.  I added pretzels, marshmallows, chocolate chips and teddy grahams.  I put it in a bag and pressed pause on the movie.  The kids came over to give the bag a good shake.  Each child got a cup of mix to bring out to the movie.  Again, there are well bred rules...if you make a mess, you lose the treat.  This does wonders for focus and attention!  Fyi...Tonight I also spent a lil extra ($1 each) to give the kids a glow toy.  This of course is always a hit! 

Throughout the movie I find a spot to snuggle.  Sometimes its with the child that needs extra attention.  Sometimes it is all of them in a great big pile.  Sometimes I am lazy and sit next to them trolling Facebook or writing a blog :)  Either way, movie nights are the time to cuddle, get comfy and close.  They are the days when I want to put a pause on life and freeze that love that won't last forever.

Some people can condemn TV and talk about the damage screens can do to young minds.  All I can say is that children are not damaged by screens, they are damaged by watching screens alone.  If they are loved, nurtured and played with it doesn't matter what you do.  It is the simple concept of quality time that makes every child feel loved and special!

Midnight Parties

There is an event in our home that is well known and coveted by the hooligans.  It is an event that happens on the rare occasion for each child without any warning.  They go to bed expecting a boring night of slumber until...BOOM!  A midnight party is in effect.

When we got married we were young and naive.  We thought all parents did was wait till they put the lil darlings to bed and then the wild rumpus begins.  We had visions of wild nights and fantastical parties.  We just knew all of the fun was happening after our bedtime.  That is until we became parents.

Sadly the reality is jack nothing goes on.  We can barely raise our arms to change the channel.  And, that is if we have the remote.  Sometimes we just stare at the news, too tired to find the friggin' thing.  There is no parties or fantastical adventures.  There is the pleasure of silence and mindless blather.  But, we wouldn't be awesome if our kids knew this truth. 

So, once in a blue mood a child is selected.  Usually the one most in need of believing our myth of awesomeness.  The child is gently woken up and we whisper "midnight party!"  They have heard of this mythical lore and can scarcely believe their luck at being the "chosen one".  We bring them to our room and jump on the bed.  We have a tickle fight until they are just awake enough to come into the family room.  Once there, we greet the child with cookies and milk or some such extravagance.  We cuddle up and tell stories or watch a forbidden show (nothing wacky). 

The best part is not the party but it is in the participation in the adult world forbidden to children that makes this event special.  The world that does not include children.  But, every once in awhile it should, if only to keep the dream alive!  Tonight I have chosen Dylan.  He has had some coke and m&m's, jumped on my bed and is now snuggled up next to me.  And this, my dear readers, keeps me awesome in the eyes of the people who matter most.

*Don't judge the picture.  He will get a good brushing tomorrow!

A Date With a Special Kiddo

This is our favorite thing to do.  I will caution you ahead of time, if you have an unruly brood like ours it will be imperative that you read all of my hints and tips.  Otherwise you will walk down the long and whiny road toward jealousy and physical aggression.  Think WWF on steroids

Ok...so date night.  Don't get excited this is NOT for the parents.  Although it is my humble opinion that you must cultivate and nurture your marriage, that is for another blog.This particular date takes a lot of time and discernment. This is not about being fair or equal.  Lets be honest...parenting is not fair and equal.  It is about prioritizing needs and wants.   It is similar to a mass emergency where you label the wounded.  Red is critical, yellow is middle of the row and green is get to it when you do.  If you are like us we usually spend every night surveying the disaster site, tracking the damage and regrouping for the next around

Using this dramatic explanation you discern which child needs you the most.  It may be a daughter that needs her father or a son that needs both parents.  Either way you agree on who needs what and make your plan.  We usually wait no more than a few days to put the plan in action.After careful consideration the date is planned

Here's a recent example... Emma seemed to be really struggling with connecting to me.  Lets put it this way, she is my sweet girly girl and I am the grunge girl.   At times we struggle to find common ground.  It is so important for a parent to cultivate that connection.

Understand I did not say friendship.  This is a huge mistake people make when parenting.  I want our kids to know they can tell me anything.  But, I also want them to understand my high expectations that need to be met.  If I try to connect with them I believe they will make an equal effort to meet my expectations.  In other words I am not the over anxious middle schooler making a call to their first boyfriend hoping they don't answer.  I am the cool, confident high school senior giving you permission to eat at my table.  Ya dig?

Ok...back to the date.  She wanted to see the Hunger Games and we told her we thought this was too mature for her.  Shawn reminded me how she had been more responsible lately.  I used that reminder as the basis for our date.  I kept it cheap...$1 movie theater, but blew it up with movie treats.  This made it immensely special as we are the family that smuggles in snacks and pops in huge purses and "medically necessary" backpacks, much to Emma's chagrin.  I really talked with her and even kept eye contact.  I listened to her.  I even shut off my cell phone!  We talked after the movie and discussed some of the big social issues.  I asked her opinions and had uninterrupted time to listen.Better yet?  She asked me mine and listened. 

It was an opportunity to connect to a child that was feeling left behind by a parent who would give her the moon and Sun for a smile.  It was a worthwhile investment that gave me more presently than it gave her.  It was a worthwhile investment that will give her more in the future than it will me.  Ya dig?

Fantastic Five Day!

I am writing this on the eve of Keegans adoption finalization. You have no idea how good that sounds or what a crazy journey the last few months have been. Every day brought a new worry, a crazy insecurity or a new prayer needing answered. But, here i sit at the completion of this chapter. I am relieved to know that forever and always he is ours to love and grow. My heart has grown a whole new size this week knowing that nothing can change the fact that he is now our son. I am humbled and sad when i think of his mom who i love dearly and will forever be grateful to. I am grateful for every person who helped Keegan grow before, during and after his move to our home. I am also a little sad that his memories with us begin today and we have a history left with holes. But, mostly i am feeling blessed to have 5 incredible children who we will celebrate tomorrow. My children are selfless, loving little sponges who believed in this crazy adoption story. They believed with every ounce of their little souls that we belong together. They never gave up and kept forging through the troubled times with laughter, courage and an insane amount of patience and love. God has given me five of the strongest children in the planet. So, we celebrate my Fantastic Five tomorrow. We will make a tradition of it. Every year we will do the same things. Tomorrow Shawn will take Keegan out to breakfast to celebrate his uniqueness. He will remind him of how we chose him to love. He will tell him how proud we are to have him as our son. They will come home and we will go to court to sign the final papers. We will thank God alot. We plan on burying a time capsule that will continue as an annual tradition. We will pull out the big bed and have a family movie. There will be laughter and happy tears. Tomorrow will be about us.j I am proud of my fearless husband who helped me to believe even when it seemed hopeless andvwho said yes to a no situation. I am proud of my son who was nervous but had faith. He did the right thing even though it was hard to do. Who now can never imagine a time before his new brother. I am proud of Emma who has nurtured Keegan and patiently taught him countless things...the lil mama. I am proud of Kiley who proudly announced "he's a keeper!" The first one jumping at the bit to adopt and the best teacher in our house. Keegan, my sweet and brave superhero. He has endured so many changes and has remained a smiling, happy, curious boy. He is the little boy who stole my heart. And Dylan, my happy go lucky guy. I am proud he has found a new best friend who will accompany him on his many adventures through life. This is what i am reflecting on today and will be tomorrow. I have never been through a more soul searching, heart wrenching, character building, faith shaking journey in my life. I am happy to report...it has been worth it. Every single second.

Gods way of saying, "right on chick!"

So, motherhood is amazing right? Well, most days. Other days it is like going to war. Not just war but, a losing battle with minefields everywhere. These are the days honest mothers will admit freely and without fear if admonishment..."screw this, I quit". Today was one of those glorious days.
At every turn I found myself wishing for an incurable bout of leperosy that would leave me in a confined hospital room with no visitors. I even found myself googling "non violent crimes with 2 year prison term" followed by a quick Google of "how to get solitary confinement while imprisoned". Yup, it was that kind of day.
Most "Martha" moms won't admit to feeling this sense of utter failure but, I have no trouble admitting defeat. Why? Because inevitably on one of these God forsaken days, He will send me a sign. Now, I am not crazy (seriously, I am not) but I do often times find God in moments...moments of pure, divine grace. A moment that you know is just for you. This rant isabout that moment.
I won't bore you with the mundane details of wretchedness but I will share the moment. At approximately 6pm as dinner was burning, I had called my five children to the table for the 50th time and was just ready to let loose a screaming rampage on my first victim...the door opened. In walks sweet, adorable, covered in mud Keegan. By this point my face was red and I swear I could feel my hair roots catching on fire. I opened my mouth to say something dreadful when he says, "here mommy. I picked these flowers for uyou". Now, when I tell you they were the rattiest weeds on the face of the planet, I kid you not. But, to me they were a bouquet of awesome love given by my child from him and God. In that moment I swear I heard God say, "right on chick. I dig your dish. It is ok. Breathe".
I picked up Keego, gave him the biggest kiss ever and looked into his eyes to tell him thank you sweet boy of mine. I put those raggeddy ol weeds on my table next to my prayer stones where they will stay everyday forever. So, you see, this was my moment of incredible clarity and joy that turned this day into a beautiful one.