The Amazing Gift of Family

The greatest gift you can give your kids is a family connection of people who are the builders character. These connections provide a security and confidence that helps drive a strong moral foundation.  This strong moral base will enable your children to consistently be aware of right and wrong while making it nearly impossible to excuse wrong behavior.  They may choose to do the wrong thing but will be unable to convince themselves it is right.  That assuredness will guide them, I am sure of it.

So tonight I write about 2 such people in our life.  Both have passed but I tell you about these special people because we keep them in our family constantly and they continue to be teachers for our children.

Aunt Catherine passed 13 years ago almost to the date. She was such a classy, brassy lady. Growing up we idolized her and everytime she visited from Jersey it was a party that never stopped.  She was opinionated and faithful.  She was fiercely proud and loyal to her family.  If you didn't like it?  Too bad.  I can remember her talking about her faith and challenging priests about not being strong leaders.  Most people are too fearful and insecure to speak up to people, especially Catholic priests.  But, not Aunt Catherine.  To this day that example makes me confident in questioning my own priests and working everyday to ensure my faith is on the right path.  Plus, she also cursed like crazy but it was never vulgar.  It made sense and sounded right.  For those that know me, really know me...i got that too!

Then, there is dziadzi. My grandpa who died 2 years ago.  He was the best.  He had a way of making everything fun.  He was sneaky and hilarious.  He was a devoted husband to a fault :) and was the best grandpa.  He taught me to be proud of who I am.  He would get so frustrated when we talked about our Irish heritage, reminding us of our polish roots.  It used to annoy me but as the years went on the beauty of that lesson was powerful.  Accepting all the parts that make up you and doing it proudly.  Thats what dziadzi taught me.  He also prayed a rosary everyday and really believed in the power of prayer.  He had an extraordinary faith I only wish to live up to.  He made me feel so confident in who I was.  Being around dziadzi made me happy.

This post has moved away from family fun but, I thought it was important to include.  These family bonds are essential for our family.  They allow Shawn and I to know that even if we screw up this parenting thing there are many people waiting in the wings to cheer us on and help us out.  Family who never judge, give opinions when asked and are the best cheerleaders we could ask for.  Having that is the best piece of parenting advice I can give.  It is essential to your family's success. Miss you dziadzi and aunt catherine!

Thinking of Another...

Tonight I am going to write a little different blog. Tonight is going to be about another child and another mom.  They are one of the main reasons I started my blog and they don't even know it

I began reading their Facebook updates about month ago.  A good friend who I look up to kept posting likes on their status.  So, one day I creeped.  For those unfamiliar, creeping is like stalking without the criminal aspect.   Less dark, same concept.  While creeping, I found that my own issues that were bugging me just disappeared

I started to feel a bit sick in the stomach and in the heart. Not far from where I lived a mother, like me, was walking a path I never want to see. Her son is living with cancer.  I could see and feel her pain in a way I never have before.  In those few moments of "creeping" I vowed to live every moment as a mother being aware and present in my children's life.  In those moments I felt a real fear that tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, not even my children.  I knew that God has given me them for only a short time to mold into amazing people. They will not be mine for long and if they were to leave me today I would feel unfulfilled in my mission.

This inspired me to do something daily to make sure we have meaningful and memorable connections.  I decided to share those connections to hopefully inspire others to connect in the same way with their children.  In a weird way I feel that if I can be the voice maybe I could start the change I wish to see in the world.

Today I read that lil Lane is not well.His time is near and I am heartbroken for his mom.  He has a brother and a father but as a mom, that pain just feels too much to bear. Tonight I am praying for that mother who will soon lose a son.  I pray that she feels as peaceful as she can as she embarks upon the impossible ending of this journey.  I pray that she knows that so many people are praying with her and for her.  I also pray that she may be aware that by her example as a mom, she has made this mom a better one.  Her son has taught me in a short time that life is precious and our children are not given to us indefinitely.  They are just ours as long as God is willing to share.  He has taught me to be more appreciative in my role as a mother.  In doing so, they have given me the boost needed to start this blog which is making people happy and hopefully sharing some good ideas to promote family fun  If this is the change they have created in me, can you imagine what other changes are happening?

This boy is changing peoples lives even as he nears the end of his. If I can make half the impact this mother and child have made, I will go down as one of the greats...and I will always be grateful for the lessons they humbly allowed me to learn.Please join me in saying a prayer for Lane and his family.  I have attached the link..  Please take a moment to give a thumbs up or even a message of love.  As a mother, I know it would make me more peaceful to know my son is impacting so many people on such powerful levels.

http://www.facebook.com/PrayersforLaneGoodwin

Dangling Donuts

Who doesn't love fall?  The leaves changing colors, the crisp autumn air, pumpkins and gourds and of course, donuts! 

Our family fun event is none other than the ol donut game of yore.  We all grew up playing it.  The powdered donuts strung up for each child.  Each child trying so hard to eat that donut without using their hands.  The adults cheering on their children and laughing at the powdered covered face.  It is such a great game and the kids love it.

The best thing about this game is that it is cheap and can be done at anytime of the year.  I am still amazed everytime we pull out this game, our kids look at us like we are the most innovative gamemakers.  I am always pleasantly surprised how much they love playing games with each other.

Today I also caught my kids sitting in the lil monkeys room playing legos together.  The sight literally made my heart leap out of my chest for 2 reasons.  Again, they were finding boundless joy in a simple toy that has been around forever. But, two, they were all sitting from age 3-13 playing cooperatively with nary a screen on sight.  These are the moments when I feel we have made our children into truly lovely human beings.

My theory?  Maybe its the simple games (like Dangling Donuts) or the fancy art projects.  Maybe its the hugs and kisses given out at every possible second.  Or the amazing families we have that give endless support and love.  But, I think it may be simpler and more general than those.  I think our children are becoming lovely human beings because every moment together we attempt to have family fun.  Sure, there are failings, but even in those moments I constantly am thinking how can we turn this frown upside down?  By having that focus we are able to keep our kids growing tall and straight towards the Sun and Gods love.

Journaling Time and a Big Surprise

Today was a very weird day.  We didn't do anything monumental.  In fact, it was a day where we just worked and vegged in front of the tv. One of those days where I go to bed feeling lazy and unproductive.  Don't get me wrong....as a single person I loved these days.  But, as a mom, ugh!  That guilt comes atcha like a freight train.

Right before bed I asked kiley to come and write with me.  It was a spur of the moment thing.  I was going to read and journal and noticed she was in her room doing the same.  You remember, I have that 2 birds with 1 stone philosophy.  Kiley immediately jumped up and yelled, "yes!"  I took this opportunity to make it just a bit more special.

I lit some candles and told her to jump in bed with me.  Wordlessly we began to write.  No thought was put into it.  I was totally engrossed in my thing and she was totally into hers.  After awhile I told her she should probably head to bed.  She asked to sleep with me and I told her no.  Daddy would be very sad to be on the couch.  She tried everything.  I stuck to my guns and shooed her out.  I then went back to writing.  I never once asked what she was writing ...too caught up in my own genius.

Another 10 minutes passed and I noticed Kileys paper.  I decided to see what she wrote.  She is very creative and I figured it was a story.  What I found almost made me cry.  It was 7 pages of why she loves me and how cool I am.  I can not broach her privacy but I did take one pic to share...her illustration.  I felt many things in this moment of discovery, pride that I had a daughter who loves me so much.  Happiness that I make her feel so good.  And, the biggest one, shame that I had not bothered to ask her to share her writing.  Embarrassment that I was so caught up in own writing I couldn't find the time to make her feel like a literary genius.  And of course, my old friend guilt that wrapped me up in a blanket of awesomeness.

So, how did I remedy this?  Went in her room and brought her back to mine...where she is now happily snuggled up next to me.  Now, I feel like the most blessed mom on the planet and for the moment the guilt is banished.

Pumpkin Bowl A Rama

What a lovely fall day.  The perfect day to...bowl!  Of course, sometimes I am too cheap and tired to lug my hooligans to the bowling alley.  What's a mom to do?  Bring the bowling alley to her house.

The challenge with creativity is to open your eyes to your resources around you.  By doing this you not only get rid of worthless items but you also keep your children busy.  I try really hard to make use of things around my home.  For this activity I rescued 4 3 liters from the recycling bin.  I filled these up halfway with water to provide weight.  We added small creepy Halloween creatures inside the bottles.  It helped immensely that they were green plastic, somehow they appeared more eerie.

I found a stash of foam Halloween stickers from the dollar tree.  Each child got a liter and began to decorate.  From an early learning point of view, the development of fine motor skills were amazing!  The kids also worked together and helped each other.  They each put their own individuality into their creations.  The boys were fascinated by the Halloween objects that we placed inside. 

Once we cleaned up we wanted for our pumpkin.  Daddy was bringing one home to use as a bowling ball.  Unfortunately, his store had run out (people...the pumpkins were $1.99!).  This is what I love about these fun family plans.  Sometimes they don't work out.  Sometimes we turn the project into something else.  Today we sucked it up and found 2 balls.  They worked perfectly well and the
best part is that we can do it again tomorrow...with a pumpkin.

Spa night and a visit from Helga

The true power of happiness and peace lies in the ability to pamper oneself.  I have never been very good at this (have you seen my nails and my jacked up bun?) and wish I did a little better.  I have come to believe that when you put yourself first sometimes, you are a much happier person.  In lieu of this, I have decided to teach my children the art of pampering by instituting "spa nights".  As a disclaimer: my oldest son Shawn no longer participates; much to my dismay

Spa nights begin with some minor bathroom redecorating.  Again, I do this with no warning to the kids  They are to be surprised. I clean the tubs really well.  I declutter the bathrooms and light some candles.  I bring in my CD player and play some relaxing music.  The tub is filled with warm water and of course, bubbles

The boys are first, they get to add some toys to the tub.  They also are read a story as they lounge. As the music plays, Helga walks in. Helga is a happy and soft spoken elderly German woman (me :) ) Helga will bathe the boys and give them each hand massages and scalp massages.She tells them stories from her village (ok...disclaimer number 2...you have to have a few screws loose to do this without feeling foolish  I obviously qualify).  After bath time the boys get to finish their soak.

I will then go to draw the girls bath and fill their tub with flowers and girlie smells.  The girls are summoned to the spa to begin their pampering.  Usually they go one at a time.  Helga once again offers her scalp and hand massages.  The girls get to soak while I gather up the boys (disclaimer 3... I have 2 small boys and although I am crazy enough to create Helga, I am not insane enough not to check on boys every few minutes).

When the boys are done soaking they are treated to a Helga deep tissue massage. They get dressed and then enjoy the massage of a lifetime.  Helga usually sings German folk songs (ie crazy songs with made up words).  Upon completion of massages they get manicures and hairstyles.  The fun doesn't end there.We end the evening with snuggles on the couch and hot chocolate.

This evening activity usually takes us an hour.  I love to do this when I am so achingly tired I can't stand it.  Spa nights add a tranquil Zen like feel to our house that I wish I could replicate daily.  But, do you want to know what I love the most?  Taking care of my children in the most basic loving way.  I always think back on my favorite bible story where Jesus washes his disciples feet.  It is a picture of sacrificial love that I hope my children will remember to replicate.  It is this love that I hope they learn to scatter like dandelion seeds wherever they go.

Unbeatable Blanket Forts

When I was a wee lil lass I spent hours, days and even weeks making these amazing forts out of blankets.  No one could hold a candle to my interior decorating or architectural genius.  In fact, if I could have found a college that offered a fine arts degree in structural blanket design I would have gotten a doctorate.  But alas, I could not and now I am forced to live out my dream through my children.

Before I give you all of my boundless knowledge in this craftsmanship I must rant.  Besides lacking gratitude, I believe children today are depleted at birth of creativity.  I see this daily by the way children in our day care center play.  Or rather, try to play.  It is a sad state of affairs when you set a bucket of blocks and dinosaurs in a group of 4 year olds and they look at you in wonder.  They have no idea how to play and look for direction and approval at every stage of play.  Recently, I have had to do trainings with our staff on Purposeful Play/ Teaching Children to Play.  I am not kidding!  The lack of imagination and creativity literally has me at a loss of words.

So in honor of my second worst childhood epidemic I give you blanket forts.  If this can't teach your children to play on their own and use their imagination you might as well turn in your parental two week notice.  Remember, without creativity and imagination you would not have any right brained people.  It is worth the investment.  We all know that right brained people are the coolest kids at the party.

The supplies are simple...flat sheets or tablecloths.  Do not let the name fool you.  Blankets are way too heavy and not for the rookie fort builder.  You will also need tape (i prefer mahvelous tape....comes off of anything) rubberbands/hair ties and clothespins.  Don't have clothesline?  Stick with the ghetto build and use pant hangers...seriously, genius.  Now, the hard part.  Buckle up buttercup...you need to be creative.  Think back on your childhood Barbie house or GI Joe fort.  Think about the rooms you created.  Look around your child's room.  Find items that you can use to create rooms.  Yes, I said it rooms.

In the pics below, I have a variety of "rooms" for you to look at.  Nothing is fancy.  Nothing costs a dime.  But, everything has a mommy payoff.  For each room I have added I have just earned at least 15 minutes of mommy time.  See?  Mommy payoff.  We have the library complete with puzzles, games and comfy furniture.  We have the fort within a fort complete with nerf guns (oh cool your jets anti gun people.  I got 3 boys....in the handbook page one says..."must have a full supply of guns and ammo".  Don't believe me?  Have 3 boys).  There is the car track area.  The building block area.  The art desk (washable crayons!).  In total 5 rooms or 1 hour and 15 minutes of mommy time!

To begin start by connecting the highest parts of your room to other high parts with sheets.  I usually move their drawers to provide more height.  Closet doors are great surfaces to build off of.  Use heavy objects to secure sheets.  If using drawers, use the actual drawers to close in a sheet.  Attach sheets to other sheets using the clothespins.  Use the rubberbands to secure sheets to bed posts.  Use the tape if all else fails to attach the sheet to walls.  In my pics I used ALL of these methods.  Voila!  Bed Fort Fabuliousness!

The most important part of this fun event is the surprise.  I will guarantee you there may be dome cursing during the assembly.  To prevent damage to your child's ears let them watch a 30 min educational show while you work your magic.  DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING.  Upon completion call your kids to the room.  Have them wait outside and knock on the door.  Open it up with much fanfare and say in your best English accent "good evening.  Welcome to your humble abode.  May I give you a tour?"  Then proceed to crawl with them through the fort and show them every magical nook and cranny. 

The best part of this idea is for one glorious moment your lil angels will look at you as if you hung the moon.  In that moment you will be there Da Vinci.  You will be there Wonder Woman.  In that moment you will be their hero.  These moments make up their memories.  Congratulations!  One of their favorite memories will now star you!