Saturday, August 1, 2015

#UnplannedParenthood Part One

Planned Parenthood has got my knickers in a twist.  I recently saw this new trend of showing pictures of your children that were unplanned and how that has made your life so much better.  For a long time, I have wanted to share my story of #unplannedparenthood.  Today seemed like the perfect day.

When I was 19, I fell in love with my husband.  We knew on our second date that we were going to get married.  We started dating in August and by January we were engaged.  We wanted to get married right away.  We had such amazing plans that included school, traveling and all sorts of amazing dreams.  I found out I was pregnant in March. I had just turned 20, Shawn was 19.  I was scared to death.

I was the oldest daughter of a staunch Catholic house.  My parents already were not necessarily happy that I was engaged to a boy they hardly knew.  I knew this would ensure that they would hate Shawn forever.  On top of that I grew up hearing my dad say, "If you come home pregnant, you should probably not come home".  Being pregnant before marriage was probably the worst offense a girl in our family could have. 

Before I even told Shawn I contemplated "My Choices".  Based on everything I knew and was told by society, I could not trust that Shawn would want this responsibility.  Society gives men a "Get out of jail free card".  I knew he could choose to leave me and I believed I was doing him a favor by letting him off the hook.  I could run away and have the baby at a home for unwed mothers.  I could raise the baby on my own.  I contemplated adoption... but not for long.  I couldn't bear the thought of another mom raising my child.  I even contemplated an abortion.  No one would know.  Shawn and I could have that magic fairy tale wedding and no one would be the wiser.  It was the simplest decision and would "rid" me of this blemish... this blob of cells that meant nothing.  It wasn't even a baby yet. 

I prayed a lot and was lost in thoughts for a few days.  I quickly realized that I could not abort my baby.  I knew he was going to be a son.  I felt it and I already loved that blob of cells.  While it would be an answered prayer to "do away" with my pregnancy, I knew I couldn't do it.  So, I decided that no matter what, I was going to be his mom... and a damn good one. 

I am so glad that during this time I did not have Dr. Drew to watch, Pro Choice friends to talk to and I thank God everyday that I NEVER went into Planned Parenthood.  Based on my anxiety, it may not have taken much for anyone to convince me to have just a tiny operation that would erase my "mistake".  So many women have been duped by their lies.  My son could have easily become an organ sold to the highest bidder.  I would have held the deep emotionally traumatizing scars so many of my friends hold years after the "tiny operation on a blob of cells".

More importantly, I was so glad I did not talk to my Pro Life friends or family.  If I had talked to them without knowing with 100% certainty of what I would do, I may have been scared enough to have an abortion.  Their judgment, ridicule and lack of support would have been the final nail in that coffin.  I could never have prepared myself for the judgment that Shawn and I would receive.  Most of it coming from the "Pro Life" community.  I could never have anticipated the lack of celebration for this new life that we were blessed with. 
After I made my "choice", I wrote an embarrassing letter to my fiancé.  I told him what was going on and the decision I made.  I also gave him permission to walk away... I did not want him to feel like I, or our son, had ruined his life.  I also did not have the courage to look at his face when he heard the news.  I knew he would have the same reaction I did.  Fear, shock and disappointment.  If he chose to stay, I did not ever want that face in my memory. 

I was so stupid.  Shawn was scared, in shock but far from disappointed.  He was disappointed in me for writing that letter that reduced him to nothing more than a statistic that society has created for men.  He was the ONLY person during the next few months that reminded me EVERYDAY that this is not a tragedy.  This is a blessing.  We were just going to do things a little differently.  God gave us a son and we should celebrate that.  This is a precious life that was entrusted to us.  Shawn was the one reason that I got up every morning to face ridicule, judgment and negativity, mostly coming from our Pro Life friends and family.  Our church community was the worst.  Catholics were some of our biggest critics.  The same Catholics that now post these videos had no problem standing in condemnation of our "sins". 

We were married when I was NINE months pregnant in a Catholic Church with one of our biggest supporters, Fr. Bob.  He was a true angel sent to us.  When other priests refused to marry us because we were keeping our baby {aka pregnant before marriage}, Fr. Bob counseled us with honesty and most importantly, COMPASSION.  Fr. Bob was the definition of Pro Life.

Shawnie was born 22 days later.  Our lives were forever changed for the better.  He is the light in my life... still.  He is getting ready to turn 16 and is one of the most caring kids I know.  He is intelligent and a born leader.  He is so creative and is part of a really amazing band.  He has great friends and is the best role model to his siblings.  They look up to him as their hero.  I KNEW he would be a boy and I KNEW he would be a world changer.  And, he is.  I still don't know exactly what he will do with his life but I do know that it will be amazing.  He is my #unplannedparenthood and I am so thankful everyday for the strength and courage that it took to make the only "choice" that could be made. 

To think that this kid may not have been born, hurts my heart deeply.  I am so deeply ashamed that I contemplated, even for a moment, ending his life.  To think that I could have made a different "choice" and he would not have existed is mind boggling.  I can not imagine a world without him.  There are so many Shawnies that have been lost to the lies of Planned Parenthood. 

It is time for all of us to stand in solidarity and be TRUE representatives of what Pro Life is all about.  It is about supporting the women with honesty, compassion and endless support- both financial and emotional.  If we all band together to do that, there would be no reason for abortion.  Women would know that they will NEVER be alone and their precious baby is a GIFT.  They would feel powerful to be included in this circle of women that have been given  this amazing ability to give life to a human.  Men would know that they do not get nor deserve a "get out of jail free card".  And for once, women would feel the slogan "I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar".  Planned Parenthood has stripped so many women of this knowledge by reducing them to a powerless, used woman who made a mistake and needs to be rid of it.  That is NOT my definition of a woman.   We are SO much more strong and courageous than that.

These videos MUST be watched.  No matter how disturbing or graphic.  We must be aware of what Abortion really is.  We must advocate to DEFUND this illegally operating company and demand  PROSECUTION of the criminals involved.  We can not do this without being fully informed.  Don't just watch the edited version.  Watch the full length video, so you can defend these revolutionaries who may just finally help turn the tide on Abortion in this country.  Or at least redefine this "blob of cells" that has no value.

This CRIMINAL organization, that for years, has successfully convinced women in crisis that their babies were just blob of cells and useless tissue.  A problem that could be disposed of.  Interesting that this blob of cells is now being sold to the highest bidder.  Not just sold as a blob but as discernible organs and body parts from the first trimester into the second and third.  The world is totally surprised and disgusted but I am not.  

I challenge each of you to work everyday to be fully PRO LIFE and stand arm and arm with women who make the choice to embrace #unplannedparenthood with courage, dignity and hope.  Give them a reason to walk away from the lies that society rains down on them.   Be the change you wish to see in this world.  Be the reason kids like Shawnie exist. 


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