Movie Night

I have decided to write a daily blog.  Writing makes me feel so creative and for those that care, I truly hope you will enjoy reading about our adventures as much as we love having them.

One of my greatest dreams come true is being blessed to be a mom of 5 children. With this enormous blessing comes extraordinary challenges.  However I feel very passionate about my belief that if you get off your tushy and spend some time planning activities for your hooligans, your day goes much better and the challenges are much less damaging to the soul. 

Writing this blog will challenge me to be a better writer but it will also challenge me to be a better mom.  So, for 365 days I will choose a daily activity to blog about.  My activities will be cheap enough and easy enough for any of my mom friends to try at home.  I hope you will find these ideas inspiring!

Tonight I will blog about movie nights.  In our house this is never "just a movie night".  This is a time to be in our comfiest jammies, have a special snack and bring ALL the mattresses in the family room.  Before I continue I will share that the mattresses are essential to fun.  It takes approx 10 min to pull out 3 mattresses.  It is also a wonderful time to quickly declutter under the beds.  Believe me, your children will be more than willing to lend a hand in order to speed up the bed process. 
On this particular night we took out the beds and chose the movie Clifford (not the big red dog....that is for lil ones).  Choice of movie is imperative especially considering all the ages.  Everyone has to agree and everyone has to participate.  The children all get their blankies and pillows to the family room and piled them up.  They know the rules...find a spot in 5 minutes and put your bottom glue on.  I usually repeat this no less than 100 times...c'est la vie.  The movie begins...

I will generally wait about 20 min before I get up to prepare a snack.  Tonight I made a smores trail mix.  I added pretzels, marshmallows, chocolate chips and teddy grahams.  I put it in a bag and pressed pause on the movie.  The kids came over to give the bag a good shake.  Each child got a cup of mix to bring out to the movie.  Again, there are well bred rules...if you make a mess, you lose the treat.  This does wonders for focus and attention!  Fyi...Tonight I also spent a lil extra ($1 each) to give the kids a glow toy.  This of course is always a hit! 

Throughout the movie I find a spot to snuggle.  Sometimes its with the child that needs extra attention.  Sometimes it is all of them in a great big pile.  Sometimes I am lazy and sit next to them trolling Facebook or writing a blog :)  Either way, movie nights are the time to cuddle, get comfy and close.  They are the days when I want to put a pause on life and freeze that love that won't last forever.

Some people can condemn TV and talk about the damage screens can do to young minds.  All I can say is that children are not damaged by screens, they are damaged by watching screens alone.  If they are loved, nurtured and played with it doesn't matter what you do.  It is the simple concept of quality time that makes every child feel loved and special!

Midnight Parties

There is an event in our home that is well known and coveted by the hooligans.  It is an event that happens on the rare occasion for each child without any warning.  They go to bed expecting a boring night of slumber until...BOOM!  A midnight party is in effect.

When we got married we were young and naive.  We thought all parents did was wait till they put the lil darlings to bed and then the wild rumpus begins.  We had visions of wild nights and fantastical parties.  We just knew all of the fun was happening after our bedtime.  That is until we became parents.

Sadly the reality is jack nothing goes on.  We can barely raise our arms to change the channel.  And, that is if we have the remote.  Sometimes we just stare at the news, too tired to find the friggin' thing.  There is no parties or fantastical adventures.  There is the pleasure of silence and mindless blather.  But, we wouldn't be awesome if our kids knew this truth. 

So, once in a blue mood a child is selected.  Usually the one most in need of believing our myth of awesomeness.  The child is gently woken up and we whisper "midnight party!"  They have heard of this mythical lore and can scarcely believe their luck at being the "chosen one".  We bring them to our room and jump on the bed.  We have a tickle fight until they are just awake enough to come into the family room.  Once there, we greet the child with cookies and milk or some such extravagance.  We cuddle up and tell stories or watch a forbidden show (nothing wacky). 

The best part is not the party but it is in the participation in the adult world forbidden to children that makes this event special.  The world that does not include children.  But, every once in awhile it should, if only to keep the dream alive!  Tonight I have chosen Dylan.  He has had some coke and m&m's, jumped on my bed and is now snuggled up next to me.  And this, my dear readers, keeps me awesome in the eyes of the people who matter most.

*Don't judge the picture.  He will get a good brushing tomorrow!

A Date With a Special Kiddo

This is our favorite thing to do.  I will caution you ahead of time, if you have an unruly brood like ours it will be imperative that you read all of my hints and tips.  Otherwise you will walk down the long and whiny road toward jealousy and physical aggression.  Think WWF on steroids

Ok...so date night.  Don't get excited this is NOT for the parents.  Although it is my humble opinion that you must cultivate and nurture your marriage, that is for another blog.This particular date takes a lot of time and discernment. This is not about being fair or equal.  Lets be honest...parenting is not fair and equal.  It is about prioritizing needs and wants.   It is similar to a mass emergency where you label the wounded.  Red is critical, yellow is middle of the row and green is get to it when you do.  If you are like us we usually spend every night surveying the disaster site, tracking the damage and regrouping for the next around

Using this dramatic explanation you discern which child needs you the most.  It may be a daughter that needs her father or a son that needs both parents.  Either way you agree on who needs what and make your plan.  We usually wait no more than a few days to put the plan in action.After careful consideration the date is planned

Here's a recent example... Emma seemed to be really struggling with connecting to me.  Lets put it this way, she is my sweet girly girl and I am the grunge girl.   At times we struggle to find common ground.  It is so important for a parent to cultivate that connection.

Understand I did not say friendship.  This is a huge mistake people make when parenting.  I want our kids to know they can tell me anything.  But, I also want them to understand my high expectations that need to be met.  If I try to connect with them I believe they will make an equal effort to meet my expectations.  In other words I am not the over anxious middle schooler making a call to their first boyfriend hoping they don't answer.  I am the cool, confident high school senior giving you permission to eat at my table.  Ya dig?

Ok...back to the date.  She wanted to see the Hunger Games and we told her we thought this was too mature for her.  Shawn reminded me how she had been more responsible lately.  I used that reminder as the basis for our date.  I kept it cheap...$1 movie theater, but blew it up with movie treats.  This made it immensely special as we are the family that smuggles in snacks and pops in huge purses and "medically necessary" backpacks, much to Emma's chagrin.  I really talked with her and even kept eye contact.  I listened to her.  I even shut off my cell phone!  We talked after the movie and discussed some of the big social issues.  I asked her opinions and had uninterrupted time to listen.Better yet?  She asked me mine and listened. 

It was an opportunity to connect to a child that was feeling left behind by a parent who would give her the moon and Sun for a smile.  It was a worthwhile investment that gave me more presently than it gave her.  It was a worthwhile investment that will give her more in the future than it will me.  Ya dig?

Fantastic Five Day!

I am writing this on the eve of Keegans adoption finalization. You have no idea how good that sounds or what a crazy journey the last few months have been. Every day brought a new worry, a crazy insecurity or a new prayer needing answered. But, here i sit at the completion of this chapter. I am relieved to know that forever and always he is ours to love and grow. My heart has grown a whole new size this week knowing that nothing can change the fact that he is now our son. I am humbled and sad when i think of his mom who i love dearly and will forever be grateful to. I am grateful for every person who helped Keegan grow before, during and after his move to our home. I am also a little sad that his memories with us begin today and we have a history left with holes. But, mostly i am feeling blessed to have 5 incredible children who we will celebrate tomorrow. My children are selfless, loving little sponges who believed in this crazy adoption story. They believed with every ounce of their little souls that we belong together. They never gave up and kept forging through the troubled times with laughter, courage and an insane amount of patience and love. God has given me five of the strongest children in the planet. So, we celebrate my Fantastic Five tomorrow. We will make a tradition of it. Every year we will do the same things. Tomorrow Shawn will take Keegan out to breakfast to celebrate his uniqueness. He will remind him of how we chose him to love. He will tell him how proud we are to have him as our son. They will come home and we will go to court to sign the final papers. We will thank God alot. We plan on burying a time capsule that will continue as an annual tradition. We will pull out the big bed and have a family movie. There will be laughter and happy tears. Tomorrow will be about us.j I am proud of my fearless husband who helped me to believe even when it seemed hopeless andvwho said yes to a no situation. I am proud of my son who was nervous but had faith. He did the right thing even though it was hard to do. Who now can never imagine a time before his new brother. I am proud of Emma who has nurtured Keegan and patiently taught him countless things...the lil mama. I am proud of Kiley who proudly announced "he's a keeper!" The first one jumping at the bit to adopt and the best teacher in our house. Keegan, my sweet and brave superhero. He has endured so many changes and has remained a smiling, happy, curious boy. He is the little boy who stole my heart. And Dylan, my happy go lucky guy. I am proud he has found a new best friend who will accompany him on his many adventures through life. This is what i am reflecting on today and will be tomorrow. I have never been through a more soul searching, heart wrenching, character building, faith shaking journey in my life. I am happy to report...it has been worth it. Every single second.

Gods way of saying, "right on chick!"

So, motherhood is amazing right? Well, most days. Other days it is like going to war. Not just war but, a losing battle with minefields everywhere. These are the days honest mothers will admit freely and without fear if admonishment..."screw this, I quit". Today was one of those glorious days.
At every turn I found myself wishing for an incurable bout of leperosy that would leave me in a confined hospital room with no visitors. I even found myself googling "non violent crimes with 2 year prison term" followed by a quick Google of "how to get solitary confinement while imprisoned". Yup, it was that kind of day.
Most "Martha" moms won't admit to feeling this sense of utter failure but, I have no trouble admitting defeat. Why? Because inevitably on one of these God forsaken days, He will send me a sign. Now, I am not crazy (seriously, I am not) but I do often times find God in moments...moments of pure, divine grace. A moment that you know is just for you. This rant isabout that moment.
I won't bore you with the mundane details of wretchedness but I will share the moment. At approximately 6pm as dinner was burning, I had called my five children to the table for the 50th time and was just ready to let loose a screaming rampage on my first victim...the door opened. In walks sweet, adorable, covered in mud Keegan. By this point my face was red and I swear I could feel my hair roots catching on fire. I opened my mouth to say something dreadful when he says, "here mommy. I picked these flowers for uyou". Now, when I tell you they were the rattiest weeds on the face of the planet, I kid you not. But, to me they were a bouquet of awesome love given by my child from him and God. In that moment I swear I heard God say, "right on chick. I dig your dish. It is ok. Breathe".
I picked up Keego, gave him the biggest kiss ever and looked into his eyes to tell him thank you sweet boy of mine. I put those raggeddy ol weeds on my table next to my prayer stones where they will stay everyday forever. So, you see, this was my moment of incredible clarity and joy that turned this day into a beautiful one.

RV Dreams of Grandeur

I want to share my greatest desire with the world... i want to be a roadtrippin' family. Let me explain. Life is way too short and my kids will only like me and be with me for a short time...why not enjoy every moment?
The more we both work and lose ourselves in the rat race of life, the more i long for us to pause our life. Shawn is a very talented comedian. I mean, he is truly one of the funniest people i know. He is lucky enough to spend some time on this passion and make some money. The sad reality is that he will never make it big. That takes commitment and travel. His family is way too important for that...or is it?
What if we just said, screw it! What if we sold our house and bought a kick butt RV? What if we sold all of our belongings and packed up? I could homeschool. I would do it well without any weirdness. Our kids could see the country. They would see it with us. We could play, laugh and spend every day together.
we would absolutely lack in dough and we would not have structured schedule. We would wake up with no plans and have to spend days exploring our country. But, wouldnt it be worth it? Isnt life about taking chances and making daring choices? Really taking the opportunity to live the life you dream of living.
I am kind of sick of how often i think about this imaginary life and wish for it to be so. Maybe 2012 is the year of making this dream a reality. I am truly considering it. Live off the grid
and soak up Gods beautiful blessings which tend to disappear in the day to day routines. You could see us on My Big Fat Gypsy Comedy Tour...
Dont get me wrong...i love my life. I am blessed with an incredible husband, healthy children and an enriching job. My husband is a great provider and we are very comfortable. But, there are these moments where i have to ask "Dear God, its me, Katie. Am i living the life you want me to live? Am i being the wife and mom i need to be? Does my job and srangers get more of my time than my children?" I would love to see what God would say

Another Year... Another Set of Promises

So, I got this list of 40 goals to complete by 40. I wanted to share the ones I am going to complete this year...

1. Lose 40 lbs by 40- this will be my toughest, least fun but most satisfying goal
2. Eat Lobster- not good considering this follows goal #1
3. Sell a piece of artwork- doesn't matter the price. Just that someone buys it... I will be an official artiste
4. Have a photography day on my own-the key is on my own. Why is it when we become moms it becomes very difficult to do this? Not because of our children because of our own weird hangups and fears?
5. Ride a tandem bike with Shawn- I mean, seriously? This would be a riot!

Besides this delightful acts of awesomeness, I have committed to my new best friend Dave Ramsey, to work on being debt free. The idea that money will no longer own me, shackles me or shame me is very exciting. I expect some failure and some hiccups but I also expect success.

This year as usual, I have vowed to be a better wife and mother. 2011 will be a year that I look back on with a lot of regret and sadness. I want to work harder to be happier so I can be a better version of myself. I also want to focus more on making my family proud of me instead of strangers. I need a good atta girl from the ones closest to me. It means a lot to be successful at your job and with others but if the people in your home don't view you as the most influential person in their life, you got it messed up.

As you can see, I got a lot to be working on. I like the feeling the new year gives you. A kind of "I will show you!" mentality that you wear with honor and pride. The armor is often too heavy to carry after awhile but, not me. It's on like donkey Kong!