Saturday, October 6, 2012

Journaling Time and a Big Surprise

Today was a very weird day.  We didn't do anything monumental.  In fact, it was a day where we just worked and vegged in front of the tv. One of those days where I go to bed feeling lazy and unproductive.  Don't get me a single person I loved these days.  But, as a mom, ugh!  That guilt comes atcha like a freight train.

Right before bed I asked kiley to come and write with me.  It was a spur of the moment thing.  I was going to read and journal and noticed she was in her room doing the same.  You remember, I have that 2 birds with 1 stone philosophy.  Kiley immediately jumped up and yelled, "yes!"  I took this opportunity to make it just a bit more special.

I lit some candles and told her to jump in bed with me.  Wordlessly we began to write.  No thought was put into it.  I was totally engrossed in my thing and she was totally into hers.  After awhile I told her she should probably head to bed.  She asked to sleep with me and I told her no.  Daddy would be very sad to be on the couch.  She tried everything.  I stuck to my guns and shooed her out.  I then went back to writing.  I never once asked what she was writing ...too caught up in my own genius.

Another 10 minutes passed and I noticed Kileys paper.  I decided to see what she wrote.  She is very creative and I figured it was a story.  What I found almost made me cry.  It was 7 pages of why she loves me and how cool I am.  I can not broach her privacy but I did take one pic to share...her illustration.  I felt many things in this moment of discovery, pride that I had a daughter who loves me so much.  Happiness that I make her feel so good.  And, the biggest one, shame that I had not bothered to ask her to share her writing.  Embarrassment that I was so caught up in own writing I couldn't find the time to make her feel like a literary genius.  And of course, my old friend guilt that wrapped me up in a blanket of awesomeness.

So, how did I remedy this?  Went in her room and brought her back to mine...where she is now happily snuggled up next to me.  Now, I feel like the most blessed mom on the planet and for the moment the guilt is banished.

1 comment: