Today was a very weird day. We didn't do anything monumental. In fact, it was a day where we just worked and vegged in front of the tv. One of those days where I go to bed feeling lazy and unproductive. Don't get me wrong....as a single person I loved these days. But, as a mom, ugh! That guilt comes atcha like a freight train.
Right before bed I asked kiley to come and write with me. It was a spur of the moment thing. I was going to read and journal and noticed she was in her room doing the same. You remember, I have that 2 birds with 1 stone philosophy. Kiley immediately jumped up and yelled, "yes!" I took this opportunity to make it just a bit more special.
I lit some candles and told her to jump in bed with me. Wordlessly we began to write. No thought was put into it. I was totally engrossed in my thing and she was totally into hers. After awhile I told her she should probably head to bed. She asked to sleep with me and I told her no. Daddy would be very sad to be on the couch. She tried everything. I stuck to my guns and shooed her out. I then went back to writing. I never once asked what she was writing ...too caught up in my own genius.
Another 10 minutes passed and I noticed Kileys paper. I decided to see what she wrote. She is very creative and I figured it was a story. What I found almost made me cry. It was 7 pages of why she loves me and how cool I am. I can not broach her privacy but I did take one pic to share...her illustration. I felt many things in this moment of discovery, pride that I had a daughter who loves me so much. Happiness that I make her feel so good. And, the biggest one, shame that I had not bothered to ask her to share her writing. Embarrassment that I was so caught up in own writing I couldn't find the time to make her feel like a literary genius. And of course, my old friend guilt that wrapped me up in a blanket of awesomeness.
So, how did I remedy this? Went in her room and brought her back to mine...where she is now happily snuggled up next to me. Now, I feel like the most blessed mom on the planet and for the moment the guilt is banished.