Let me say, first, I am fully humbled in the presence of the Lord....in His presence only. But, in the moment I find myself suffering from a bad case of Buckley-itis. That is too say...I am right and everyone else is wrong.
I admit to the world that this humbleness that people walk righteously with, I have fallen prey too. I have in the last few months doubted my greatness. I have lost faith in my upbringing which has caused me to veer off of the chosen course for my life. I have listened to people who say i am too straight forward or that i need to see more "gray". On this "humble" path I have lost the unconscious Faith filled belief that He is walking with me and beside me. I have lost courage, bravado and hope. Most of all I have lost my sass.The very sass that enabled me to hear Gods will and keep the faith.
I believe when you are too humble you begin to question yourself. Now, don't get me wrong, there is a place for humility but only a small place. It is important to stay humble with others but never with yourself and relationship with God. When I look in the mirror I don't want to see a wimpy version of a pacifying, accepting, humble servant. I want to see a confident, strong, butt kicking leader. Lately, I haven't seen this chick. She's been out on her hog living life. I am calling her home today, selling the bike and booting the wimpy humble servant out.
Here is what I know to be true today and will continue to preach on loudly, confidently and sassily...
1. Be a servant to truth, goodness and kindness always. True to what you know is right, Good to all Gods creatures and Kind in every circumstance. You will not be rewarded, exalted or praised....on earth. This kind of life will not be easy but it will be worth it. Others will judge you. Call you pious, a know it all...ignore the haters.
2. Do not wallow in your tragedies. Celebrate them, this is the devils way of getting in. If he is trying, you ate winning. Dont give in ever. WOLVERINES! Kick him in the balls and give those tragedies to God. Trust in Him....
3. God is always with you. If you can't hear him, speak more loudly and confidently. If he has disappeared, bring Him home.
4. No matter what, trust your gut and let your heart lead you. Do not become discouraged or lose Faith. Decisions made this way are ALWAYS the right ones.
I had to get this off of my chest. Job and I have been besties for too long and with a very sad adieu, I pack his bags and send his leper bootie home. No more despair in my heart or emptiness in my soul. I am back...all of my sassiness and naughtiness included. If I ain't humble enough, there's the door....keep on walking.